Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Cardinal Pell compares Church with trucking company at Royal Commission.

Pell compares church to trucking company

Cardinal Pell said it would not be appropriate for legal culpability to be “foisted” on church leaders.

He then cited a hypothetical example of a case involving a woman who was molested by a truck driver.

“It would not be appropriate, because it’s contrary to the policy, for the ownership, leadership of that company to be held responsible,” Cardinal Pell said.

“Similarly with the church and the head of any other organisation.”

This is all about money.

Firstly, the church wanted to just ignore it all, move the paedophile/sex offender/abuser priests around, keep the reputation of the church as a priority, blame the victims, treat the victims in highly abusive ways, keep it all quiet, not contact the police and use the Church’s Lawyers to be complete shameless bastards against the victims – as has previously been proven by the Royal Commission with Cardinal Pell guilty of this.

Now, they can’t keep it all quiet, they have no choice but admit what is occurring and now the concern is all about $$$$.

And don’t think this is just the Catholic Church, it isn’t. It happens in other denominations too.

I have already stated, there is an insidious evil running rampant through organised Christianity, where perpetrators of abuse are enabled, encouraged protected and raised up….and the victims are treated in highly abusive ways and traumatised over and over.

And this is not just sexual abuse and child sexual abuse.  This applies to all the physical, emotional, spiritual abuse to children and women in churches like physical discipline to children – which is abuse. Like all the domestic violence enabled and women told not to leave, divorce and they have to stay and put up with it. All the abuse to gay people.

I do not condone any of this. And more importantly, NEITHER DOES GOD. 


So thankful to be a good example of a real Christian – and to someone famous – Darren Hayes!!

Only in the land of cyber world, could someone famous tell me they love me!

I saw a re-tweet of Darren Hayes who had posted this pic.

So I replied, thinking it would not even be noticed by Darren Hayes…but he tweeted me back.. :-)

Which I’m pretty amazed at! But, very thankful, to know that people understand that not all those who claim to be ‘Christians’ – are homophobic, abusive people. Continue reading


My blog, is not a community sounding board to slag off God.

I have received several comments in the last few days, most of which I have not approved – slagging me off, and God – for my faith.

Please know, I will discuss the issues that go on within Churches where the Bible is abused, people are abused. I see this and this is very wrong. Sadly church people abuse others and this is wrong and I do not condone it. But that is due to who they are as people, not due to God.

But this is NOT – I repeat NOT – a community to slag off God, say He does not exists, or slag off His Word.

That deeply offends my soul and to slag me off in the process – insinuating I am stupid, deluded etc – is offensive too.

My faith is rock solid, my relationship with Jesus is rock solid.

This blog is about healing from abuse – not somewhere for people to vent their anti-God issues.


One thing for sure North Pine Baptist Church, taught me alot about ‘not’ to do.

I am not going to thank them – I don’t believe in thanking allowing evil to occur. That’s thanking Satan – and that’s never going to happen.

But, the best lessons to learn are always from bad occurring. And all the abuse occurring within that ‘church’ has sure highlighted to me so many issues that occur there and within other churches, especially in these abusive conservative, right wing, churches, who are not Biblical, not Godly.

And I have support about this.

There are SO many things I have learned, by personal experience and by watching them all in action.

And I ‘knew’ in my soul so much was wrong. Thank you Jesus <3

It has equipped me with so much to be able to help others who have been abused by church people and that is because I am willing to learn and listen and wish to grow in God's wisdom, and He knows that. Continue reading

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So blessed, someone made us meals & received a donation of $100 !

I’ve set up a GofundMe account to help with the publishing costs of my first book.


I only set it up yesterday and I have already received a donation and an incredibly generous one of $100!! I was so surprised and so thankful, I cried! I am such a sook :-)

My husband is a police officer and has told a few others in work and one very kind police officer, brought meals and cupcakes in for us! She’s a lovely woman, I’ve met her a few times and she’s having problems with her teenager who has been suicidal, so knows how hard this all is to deal with.

What amazing blessings and I know that’s you God and I praise you deeply for this <3 <3 <3

in my last email to my doctor, I wrote how I know God loves me and will always provide all I need. Including the strength the cope and heal, and whatever else is needed.

It’s amazing to think I nearly ended my life less than a week ago, and here I am now sat with my children playing and giggling together – that sound being my favourite in the world, feeling deeply blessed by people who I don’t even know!

Wow. I have no more words.

Wow!!! :-)


I do my small part, as one person, to explain wrong ‘Christian’ abusive views.

I am only one person, I’m still in my own healing journey. Trying to cope with, recover from a severe trauma history.

I see so many abusive views held by too many church people. I’ve endured them and I know God wants this used to help others.

God needs His people who understand who He is, to help others.

But, I am not under any ego/illusion that I am going to ‘change the world’. I can only do what I can, and help a few people. My gift is writing, which isn’t amazing in any way, but it is honest, real, relatable, and many people clearly value it.

My experiences in life are mostly about ‘abuse’. So this is what I write about mostly and also I incorporate the abuse I know and have seen and have endured by church people.

It offends my soul, when God, Jesus’ Word is used to abuse people. It is an added layer of disgust for me and whether intentional, or not, it is evil occurring. Continue reading


‘Honour thy father & mother’….even if abusers who harmed you greatly??..No.

Yes, this is one of the 10 commandments.

Honour means ‘hold in great esteem and high respect’.

This is based upon your parents being Christian/Godly parents, who act like parents. Not about parents who are abusers.

There is far too much abuse condoned in churches, based upon literal and immature interpretations of Bible verses.

I have a very abusive mother, who abused me and allowed me to be abused by men.

I have a birth father who completely abandoned me.

I had a step father who was an abuser within a circle of sexual abuser friends.

Collectively, these 3 people have destroyed my life. My life could have been very differently, had they have actually acted like ‘parents’.

Does anyone really believe that despite all the abuse and harm these 3 people have caused to me, that I should ‘honour’ them.

Does anyone really believe that God wants me to ‘honour’ people who have caused so much harm and abuse to me?

Does anyone really believe I should have nice thoughts about these people, and want them in my life, reconciliation, enforced forgiveness, or anything else many church people would suggest?

The only expectation God has of me, is to not hate them – which I don’t, to not want retribution – which I have never wanted for any of my abusers, and to leave their fate to Him – which I do.

I have actually gone further than this, and I have compassion for their mental health – although I do not in any way excuse the abuse, because it was still a ‘choice’ they made and they could have chosen not to abuse me. But, I accept they have very poor mental health and huge mental health disorder issues, and I don’t want that for them. I wish their lives could have been different, for them.

I have prayed for them and been in tears for their dark mind and dark hearts and prayed that they would somehow have eternal life with Jesus and I know that is not in my hands. I have prayed they will.

But, that is all I know I need to do and all that God requires of me. Continue reading


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