Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Mindful, or mind full?

My life is ruled by my mobile phone alarm.

Alarm to get up.
Alarm to take medication in the morning.
Alarm to remind me of whatever I need to do that day.
Alarm to remind me to pick up my son from school.
Alarm to take evening medication No1.
Alarm to take evening medication No2, if needed. Continue reading

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Sacrificial love…

As a child, I loved my mother and my siblings. Still do.

Through therapy and research, I have learned so much about my dysfunctional family, the narc behaviours, the emotional and psychological abuse.
But, I loved them through it all.
Got badly hurt by them, but loved them and still do, just from a safe distance. Continue reading


Fear & Happiness cannot occur together in the mind. And PTSD is the brain locked in perrmanent fear.

‘Fear & Happiness cannot occur together’, so in the fear based PTSD driven brain, happiness cannot occur…. Continue reading


Numb, numb, numb… ~ Lilly Hope Lucario



I am currently in that detached, dissociated, numb mode. Have been all day. Like going through the motions. With no emotion.
Emotion is too hard. I can’t handle the amount of everything weighing on me, crushing me.
I know it’s depression, full on depression. Continue reading

Evidence does not create justice, or fairness.

When I was a child, I was sexually abused by one of my parent’s friends, for 3 years. He was your typical paedophile, started off with the grooming process of gaining my trust. He knew I wanted attention I was not getting at home. Paedophiles know how to home in on dysfunctional families with vulnerable children. Continue reading