Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

We cannot control others, only ourselves….

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It hurts me and upsets me when I see other trauma and PTSD survivors, upset and hurt by the stigma, lack of emotional intelligence and hurtful comments and attitudes people can have towards those with PTSD.

I am learning I ‘cannot’ control what other people think of me, I cannot make them understand, I cannot make them have the capacity to understand something as deep as this.

This can be a lonely, isolating journey if we expect others around us to understand.

So, the more positive attitude to have, is one that ‘accepts’ other people’s inability to understand, accepts their lack of capacity and accepts their lack of emotional intelligence.

People can often only understand life events, pain and suffering tangible to their own lives, and their wisdom is often only a reflection of the experiences they have lived.

Most people can understand phsyical pain, as most people have experienced physical pain at some point in their lives. So they can imagine pain continuing and horrible that would be.

But, most people cannot understand the deep levels emotion pain and suffering of captivity abuse, prolonged fear and suffering, believing for extended period of time, months, years, you could die at any time at the hands of a sadistic pyschopath, or worse your family could, as were the threats. Most people cannot understand the torture of this abuse replaying in your head, in nightmares, flashbacks and involuntary intrusive thoughts.

And I am glad most people do not know this level of fear and suffering.

To accept this, takes away the anger and frustration.

To not accept this, causes me more hurt, more pain and isolates me more – something I refuse to do to myself.

Acceptance is easier, than the pain of not accepting.

People don’t have to understand me, or understand my pain, to support me. I have friends who don’t understand me, but love me anyway and I love and cherish them dearly. Their hearts are good even if they do not understand.

But, those who deliberately fail to try to understand me, use my pain and PTSD against me, they have no place in my life.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

One thought on “We cannot control others, only ourselves….

  1. Most my life I have searched being understood and validated. That brought on all the people who would not understand or validate me, like on purpose, to be cruel. When I realize that I create the experiences in life for my own inner growth, I see they were helpers along the way to help me heal, to grow, to better understand my own truth. Now, I thank them and put up personal boundaries. I find myself to be excitingly shocking, when I say “Did I ask?” to mere strangers who project their crap on me. I don’t care anymore. I thought I was broken, but in fact it was freedom yet seen, I like to think.