Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Narcissists are highly abusive people….

12 Comments

I can quite truthfully say, that narcissists have caused so much abuse/trouble in my life.

Narcissists aren’t honest, they lie and hide the truth.
Narcissists hate it when you expose their lies, personality.
Narcissists love attention, love positions where they can be in authority, like bosses, pastors, teachers, politicians, parents.
Narcissists have images and ego’s and surround themselves with people who boost this constant need.
Narcissists are very insecure people, who hide this at all costs.
Narcissists get really nasty when exposed, attacking you in the worst possible way they can, with statements like ‘you deserved the abuse’, ‘you are crazy’, ‘you are demonic’.
Narcissists are unable to self reflect.
Narcissists don’t know there is anything wrong with them, they truly believe what they are doing is okay.
Narcissists lack empathy. They can pretend, but when exposed, their true hearts are exposed.
Narcissists are very manipulative people, most won’t even realise what they are up to.
Narcissists seem ‘lovely’ to those who they need to maintain their image with.

BOUNDARIES are needed with narcissists, if you don’t have boundaries, they will hurt you, repeatedly.

I’m good at detecting narcissists, I’ve had plenty of practise.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

12 thoughts on “Narcissists are highly abusive people….

  1. Distance I’ve found is the best boundary with toxic people.

  2. My mother is a narcissist, and she chose me to be the scapegoat growing up and I am messed up now because of it.

    • I am so sorry your mother is a narcissist, so is mine and much of my complex trauma problems, are down to my relationship with my mother. I was also scapegoated and I know how cruel this is, so please know I truly understand. I choose to forgive my mother and I truly wish things could have been different for her, as well as for me and my siblings. My mother was a very unhappy woman, trapped in her own misery.

  3. so glad to read this; the narcissist in my life is also a sociopath, literally. it is not that uncommon for the two to not go together from what i’ve read. sadly, as every day proves. bah. thank you again for this post, while i don’t wish the suffering upon anyone, it is still good to know me and my mom are not alone…

  4. My core abusers were older siblings. I managed to “forget” a lot of my childhood, and when, through therapy, I started to remember, I got to see the ‘bully’ again. She refuses to even discuss any of it, let alone apologize. After my father died, my brother’s daughter asked if they were mean to me and they both answered, “oh, we picked on her a little. It was no big deal.” The ganging up, again, happened so naturally for them. It was like a punch in the gut. Just like the old days.

  5. I have just got out of a, near on, 8 year relationship with a narcissistic sociopath; it ended approx 3 months ago, but I’ve kept letting him back into my life, until last week anyway. I still really love him and want him back; i feel exceptionally weak for someone that has always been so strong. I’ve been believing and forgiving all his lies, even though I know he is a liar. I know how unhealthy the relationship has been, but why wont he seek help to heal himself if he says he loves me. I know he didn’t cheat on me, but he has certainly tried, MANY times, and with good friends of mine as well as strangers on-line! He told me he needed to figure out what it was he wanted, then got jealous just as I was starting to move on and told me he was sorry and wanted to try again, even telling this to some of the girls he was meeting from Tinder (or so he claimed). I really don’t know what to do…give up or keep trying although i know he doesn’t love or want me. If i give up i feel as though my entire world will collapse in on itself.

    • Amazing… Feel like I just read my own post, LOL!!! And… The KRAZIEST thing! Is that he’s been the one CONSTANTLY accusing ME of being THE NARCISIST!!! He is textbook, and was abused by his father as a child (physical, hitting, and a lot of verbal put downs) and watched as a child as his father abused his mother in front of him and his siblings…. I think WE feel more “empathy” for them than “love”… We know how mentally fragile that are, but take the new attitude that “it’s him, or me… What’s it gonna be?” Because ultimately, you know he will drag you down into the gutter he calls his life… Then he will leave you. He’ll keep on – keep’n on, and he’ll continue this pattern as each new relationship figures him out 🙂 They will always ONLY want us when they think we are gone forever ❤ ❤ STAY STRONG & MOVE ON 🙂

      • The ‘calling you the narc’ is the projection.

        They cannot bear to accept what they really are and so project their own issues onto their ‘prey’.

        We need very strong boundaries with these people, preferable no contact. Because they will continue to destroy your life, with all their lies, manipulation, lying to others about you etc.

        Yes, stay strong and also know it takes time to grieve and that’s okay and needed to ❤ ❤

    • 3 times I was told that he “didn’t know what he wanted… ‘But if I did, I’d choose you.'” Many more times than that he left the family. Each time I hoped and prayed that things would be different. Finally found strength to get a divorce. Still have days where I wish he was back, then I talk with him on the phone and am thankful for the reminder of how it would be.

  6. About 10 years ago I went through my 2nd divorce. I knew my 1st husband was an alcoholic and drug user but because my 2nd didn’t do drugs and drank minimally I couldn’t figure out what went wrong. After the break up while watching the news reports of Lacy and Scott Peterson it hit me. My 2nd husband displayed narcissistic behaviors. I still didn’t connect those behaviors with my mom’s until I saw an article about narcissistic parenting. Ohhhh my that was it. I was the oldest and who got all…caring for my younger sister, responsible for cooking cleaning grocery shopping and laundry by age 10. Also got hit for both mine and my sister’s mistakes. I took a 10 year break from my mom at the age of 40. Recently got back in contact with her and can see her methods of helplessness and moods. I have learned to only have safe conversations with her. I also know when to again take a break from her. 😉 ♡