I have my favourite jumper on today – it says ‘C’est La Vie’ on it.
My life is my life, my past is what is was. But my past isn’t in the past, it is in my life every day. And it is involuntarily in my head every day.
Life is really hard. It’s horrendous in fact. There’s no denying it. I can’t put a good spin on it anymore. It is was it is and I have endured far more than my share of suffering. Thinking anything else just invalidates my life, my past, which is no longer my past, as it is in my present, every day, involuntarily, as I have severe Complex PTSD, made worse by my refusal for 20 years to be a victim. Being strong, my failure to deal with my past and efforts to just move on with my life, made my current circumstances worse.
Yes, there’s good, but it doesn’t make up for the suffering.
Only spending eternity with God, will make up for it and that I know I am promised and will do whatever I can in this life, to fulfil the purposes God requires of me and is working on me to fulfil. Continue reading