Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

There’s a part of me that feels really sorry for people, even if they hurt me.

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I’ve just found out that someone who put a nasty accusatory comment on my facebook, who then apologised in private, clearly was not sincere in their apology.

And I know why the fake apology was given, because in his nasty comment, he had showed himself to be another bully from the Church where an ongoing formal complaint is in process. So, he ‘had’ to apologise. Even my husband had stated this was no doubt this persons motivation for apologising and he was right..

But, I showed this person grace and gave him the opportunity to show in time if he was sincere in his apology and wanting to ‘stay in touch’, as were his words. He has now blocked myself and my husband, for no reason, which I couldn’t less about, but it proves his insincerity in the apology and basically anything he said.

And I have been praying for this man and his family. But then, I am a nice, genuine person. And have felt sorry for this family. I have offered to help this family.

This combined with all the other fake, lying behaviours that have come into the light with several of these Church people, is sad.

It really is very sad.

I am able to step out of the emotional hurt these people cause, and look at it objectively, and with insight and clarity. My doctor has even commented on my ability to do this. It is why she said God is using me in this whole abuse complaint, because of my strong abilities and insight needed in this.

These people seriously need help. That Church needs help and I have prayed about that too.

Their actions and behaviours are so obviously fake and yet they don’t see that others ‘can’ see through their behaviours and lies and see their heart motivation, and it ain’t pretty. And so can God and yet they fail to remember this.

Their inability to reflect and have self insight, is sad.

I have to feel sorry for them.

I always end up feeling sorry for people, even if they hurt me, because I can see their weaknesses, when they can’t.

My husband doesn’t feel sorry for any of them.

But, I do. It’s sad.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “There’s a part of me that feels really sorry for people, even if they hurt me.

  1. I am wondering if you have brought your abuse to the church members or to the proper channels that the church is involved with. for example if it is a baptist church, you need to contact the baptist convention or whatever it is called. If it was a preacher, you can surely report him to have his license revoked. If he is abusing others then it is clearly up to you to stop this and take whatever measures necessary to do so and let the congregation know as well. I would like to know how you know this guy was fake in his apology? just because he blocked you on Facebook? maybe there are other reasons you know nothing about as to why he blocked you. Did you stop to consider that maybe the church has put him up to this? I for one would not want any members of this church on my Facebook if they abused me in any way. I don’t know if I would feel sorry for them myself. They know very well what they are doing and they think they are going to get away with it because they feel “God told them to do it or it is in the Bible”.

    • Hi there,

      Thank you for your message, I really appreciate it.

      There is a formal complaint in process about the pastor. The complaint was eventually initiated by his senior pastor, and I have provided considerable evidence to support the complaint, and my doctor and counsellor who are mature Christian women, have confirmed it is spiritual abuse and are supporting my complaint fully. This Baptist Union have been provided with all the evidence. I will do all I can to ensure this man does not do this to another person and I am aware this could have already happened to others. This man should not be a pastor – he had proven that. I know that what I know – will only be the tip of the iceberg, but I know enough to know this man and his wife are fake, narcissistic people, with bad heart issues that should not in any way be in leadership of a Church and God exposed this, for good reason.

      The person who made the nasty comment on my facebook, only apologised because he knew he looked like a bully and that was not good timing with a complaint against the Church ongoing. It knew it was not genuine.

      I do have some of the nice people from that Church on my facebook and some of them are supportive of the formal complaint. I know not everyone in the Church are the same as these religious hypocrites. But, that Church need help, I see how the weak leadership is causing issues there, and the leaders do what they want and think they are untouchable. This Church have been described as being ‘out of control’, as is too common with the Baptist denomination worldwide. The leadership do not like to be challenged and especially by a woman, they believe women should ‘know their place’. Weak men don’t like to be challenged. This Church have an ‘elitist’ attitude’ and are very ‘cliquey’ and often refer to other Church’s and denominations being inferior to ‘their teachings’ and this in itself is a sigh of an abusive Church being run by abusive leadership.

      I do feel sad for them, because they lack insight, lack real wisdom and hide behind biblical quotes and thinking twisted for their own earthly purposes, as has been pointed out to me.

      I think my compassion, and ability to see into others, their heart motives and their weaknesses, is what enables me to feel sorry for them. They need help and they don’t even know it, which is sad and I wonder how many other people may have been hurt by leadership.

      I pray for them. We are called to pray for our enemies, as well as good people.

      And I am in the forgiveness process as well. It will take time and part of forgiveness is anger – righteous anger – at what they have done and the hurt and loss myself and my family have felt as a result of what we have endured.

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