If wisdom, justice and God’s requirements prevail in the formal complaint I have ongoing, the pastor concerned will be sacked and him and his wife will be removed from ministry. The reason being their hearts are so far from what is required of a teacher of God’s word, no repentance, lying, denying, manipulation, narcissism, abusing pastor counselling privilege, spiritual abuse, failure to have insight and the capacity to change.
I have had to check my heart on this matter and have done this several times, including with my doctor and counsellor. My heart and motives are good and wise.
I know in this matter is, some people will judge my decisions and motives about this being lack of forgiveness, revenge, my mental health etc. They are wrong.
People will judge me on why I am following through with this formal complaint, why it is continually on my mind and heart and I know they are.
If the right and Godly action occurs, and he is stood down form his pastor role and his wife is removed from ministry also, I will be criticised for this, blamed and some will be outraged that this occurred, by people who don’t know all of what occurred.
But, all the way through this matter, these people committed their sins, knowingly, deliberately, over prolonged periods of time and was all of their own free will. So, they also choose the outcome.
Some will criticise me based entirely on their own uninformed opinions, their own selfish needs, and feeling ‘sorry’ for these people.
But, will they actually wonder why? What happened to require this decision to be made?
Also, if he doesn’t get sacked – because Satan fools more people – then some people will say – she must have been lying, she must be crazy, you know she has PTSD.
Some people will say ‘good prevailed’, the ‘right decision’ was made, and it will break my heart to see Satan fooling more people.
This matter isn’t about what he did to me anymore – I have dealt with the hurt and betrayal, it is about how they dealt with their sin, the lies, the manipulation, the denying, Satan winning. Their heart issues were revealed at the mediation for very good reason. And they chose more sin, more lies, more deceit.
But, I am in a lose-lose situation, with many of this Church.
If the right action is taken, I will be criticised.
If the wrong action is taken, I will be criticised.
And I am human, I have feelings, and that hurts, because I am being absolutely honest.
But, my integrity, my understanding of the heart motives of these people, my understanding of how false teachers, ravenous wolves, should not be leaders in a Church, and doing what is right, what is wise, what God requires – courage, integrity, transparency and exposing sin and exposing false teachers, is more important to me, than the criticism I will receive no matter what I do.
The only way most of the people who judge me would have been happy with my actions, was if I just walked away, said nothing, and did nothing, so the status quo of that Church remained.
But, God made me far more courageous than that and gave me integrity and I know God is using me I this.
I know that’s why both my doctor and counsellor have encouraged me and both stated they see me as one of God’s watchmen.
And at the end of the day – what God thinks of me – is all that matters.
But, I will do all I can, to reduce Satan fooling people and to ensure no-one else gets hurt by these spiritual abusers, and that is my heart in this matter.