I have been thinking about this for some time.
I have come to a decision regarding the friends that have decided to ignore the hurt they know I am enduring currently and choose other reasons, over supporting me.
I feel that in ignoring the issue, refusing to want to help me deal with it – they are choosing other reasons above being a friend to someone who has made it clear there is abuse that has occurred.
To me, this really is a deal breaker.
I know myself enough to know that I cannot tolerate people not supporting someone who has been abused. And that is exactly what this is. And just because the abuse happens to be from a Church pastor, should not make any difference.
This is a heart issue for me, and I would ‘always’ support a friend who is going through something serious, so their decision to remain neutral, and say they want no part in something serious and painful, is not being a friend.
I would never tell a friend they couldn’t talk to me about something, particularly something serious.
Not supporting people abused – is what keeps abuse going and enables it.
Having moral, emotional and spiritual integrity is important to me, but I have seen and felt too much lack of support in my life, and I only have room in my life for people who have hearts to make the right choice, not ‘what’s expected of them’.
I don’t do what’s expected of me, if I know it’s wrong.
I would not treat my friends this way.
I cannot condone people failing to support someone who has been abused.
So, that is my decision. These people who claim to be friends, will no longer be a part of my life.
I need to protect myself emotionally more than I do and not expect less for myself than I deserve.
I need real friends, friends with integrity, with hearts to do what is right, the courage to help me, even if that may cause ripples in their life, as that is what I would be prepared to do for them.
I don’t have room in my life for shallow friendships.
I need to have a level of trust in people to do the right thing by me, and I have no trust in people who fail to support those who have been abused.
Sad decision to have to make, as they will not be bothered, but I will, because when I call someone my friend, I mean it.
But, this is life, most people seem to be able to make self motivated decisions and lack courage and be okay with it.
And time reveals people’s hearts and I cannot ignore these red flags, I know to listen to them more.
Failing to be a real friend through a time of serious hurt due to abuse, is a red flag, as this is a heart issue, I can’t condone.
At the present time, I need real friends. And I have some, and I will concentrate on them and know God will provide more.
I feel like He is closing a door, but wanting to open a new one and I know to trust that, He always leads me to better.
God has always led my family and I, to better.