My husband is far more black and white about thing than I am sometimes. To him, if someone hurts me, then he just thinks – get rid of them and move on.
My husband and I are very different people. He is a fair man, but openly admits he doesn’t spend time thinking of, or worrying about people, which is good, as he is a cop, and you need to that ability to just switch it off.
But, he is also someone who is protective of me, thinks the way I have been treated my a former Church, is appalling. And he isn’t forgiving of this, so I just talk to him about how I need to forgive and let God work on him too, we are all a work in progress.
And I see how I need my husband to be protective and supportive of me and defend me and he does.
My husband is also upfront about telling me when he believes I am wrong about something and I ask his opinion on things a lot and I do listen to him.
My husband told me the other day, I am the most sane, wise person he has ever met. Which was a shock, as he doesn’t say things like that often. I know my husband, and I know this means he has thought about this a lot to say this.
He joked as well, that it’s a bummer in our house, because no-one ‘gets away’ with any sins, because I will know about it.
I asked him if he felt I was unfair in the way I deal with others people’s sins and he said – absolutely not – in fact I think you excuse their behaviours and feel sorry for people too much. I asked him if he thought this was bad, and he said – no, but you do allow people to hurt you too much and not just deal with the situation earlier ad I don’t think you should tolerate people’s crap the way you do.
So, it was a good indication of how I am doing with regards to showing grace, kindness and forgiveness.
If I am always giving people time and opportunity to deal with their wrongs, if I am explaining to them and giving them choices, then I am doing the right thing.
If I get hurt in the process, well, as long as I have done what’s right, then I am at peace with that.