Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

My husband doesn’t say much, so when he does, he means it.

1 Comment

My husband is far more black and white about thing than I am sometimes. To him, if someone hurts me, then he just thinks – get rid of them and move on.

My husband and I are very different people. He is a fair man, but openly admits he doesn’t spend time thinking of, or worrying about people, which is good, as he is a cop, and you need to that ability to just switch it off.

But, he is also someone who is protective of me, thinks the way I have been treated my a former Church, is appalling. And he isn’t forgiving of this, so I just talk to him about how I need to forgive and let God work on him too, we are all a work in progress.

And I see how I need my husband to be protective and supportive of me and defend me and he does.

My husband is also upfront about telling me when he believes I am wrong about something and I ask his opinion on things a lot and I do listen to him.

My husband told me the other day, I am the most sane, wise person he has ever met. Which was a shock, as he doesn’t say things like that often. I know my husband, and I know this means he has thought about this a lot to say this.

He joked as well, that it’s a bummer in our house, because no-one ‘gets away’ with any sins, because I will know about it.

I asked him if he felt I was unfair in the way I deal with others people’s sins and he said – absolutely not – in fact I think you excuse their behaviours and feel sorry for people too much. I asked him if he thought this was bad, and he said – no, but you do allow people to hurt you too much and not just deal with the situation earlier ad I don’t think you should tolerate people’s crap the way you do.

So, it was a good indication of how I am doing with regards to showing grace, kindness and forgiveness.

If I am always giving people time and opportunity to deal with their wrongs, if I am explaining to them and giving them choices, then I am doing the right thing.

If I get hurt in the process, well, as long as I have done what’s right, then I am at peace with that.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

One thought on “My husband doesn’t say much, so when he does, he means it.