Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Stages of Faith (Hagberg & Guelich model of faith development)

The more I read this, the more I understand so much of the attitudes and comments I have received from the Church I used to attend.

They are your typical stage 3 Church, all about their own Church community, all about serving within their own Church community, all about the Church rules and how fixated on that they are.

They talk about their ‘Church family’ constantly and that is their identity and any challenge to this, is taken as an attack to their identity, so defend it and reject the person as being inferior to their ‘maturity’.

They see anything other than fully submitting to their Church community and its rules, as the person having weaker faith.

They think they are mature Christians and don’t realise they mostly aren’t, they are stuck at stage 3.

If the leadership of a Church is stuck at stage 3, there will be little hope for progression in the spiritual walk for any of the flock.

It’s why I have been attacked, called demonic, accused of witch hunting, accused of slander, accused of playing God, because they think their faith level is the highest, so therefore anyone who threatens that is accused of playing what they think is the only ‘next’ level – God.

I have to accept they are spiritually stuck, don’t understand anything more, and forgive them their lack of cognitively and spiritually understanding anything more than their own limited views.

And find a Church, led by stage 4 or above leadership. Which I trust God will lead us to.


God did deliver us from a spiritually unhealthy, cult like Church, to a wonderful Church, led by a very spiritually mature Reverend.

God NEVER fails me or my family.

Thank you God, you always deliver me from evil ❤

Restoring The Heart

One of the comments I hear from church leaders about those who are struggling with their faith and with disillusionment is that they are not mature. Recently I came across the work of Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich about the stages of faith development. Their research and concepts are built on over 2000 years of history and theology.

Hagberg and Guelich define six stages of development, and a seventh component: The Wall.

Stage 1 – “the discovery and recognition of God” (33)
Stage 2 – “a time of learning and belonging” labeled “the life of discipleship” (53)
Stage 3 – “the productive life”
Stage 4 – “the journey inward” – “a deep and very personal inward journey” that “almost always comes as an unsettling experience yet results in healing for those who continue through it” (93). Wholeness looks a lot like weakness at this stage.
Stage 5 –…

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Interesting to be told, my spiritual development stage, has progressed past most Christians I know.

My counsellor tonight, discussed with me why I am so frustrated by the lack of understanding I know, within other people’s faith.

And all the behaviours I have witnessed and endured from the Church I used to attend, are perfect evidence of a lower spiritual progression, lack of maturity in faith, but they don’t know that.

I am not someone who is a Church flock sheep. I never will be. I think and my cognitive ability to think deeply and reflect and self reflect and reflect about others, plus all my life wisdom, means I am not stuck in the stage most people Christians are.

These stages are based upon the 6 stage model of spiritual development and most Church’s and believers, are stuck at stage 3, and they will never progress. Some will, but most won’t. Continue reading

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Are we there yet?

This healing journey is hard, is takes a long time to heal a trauma history like mine, severe, multiple abuse, spread out over decades and multiple abusers.

I’ve never wanted to have to deal with my past, never been in victim mode, never used my past as an excuse.

I had to be on my knees, desperately unwell, to reach out to God to help me, because I am a stubborn cow, who couldn’t/wouldn’t reach out any other way.

And I believe that when life knocks you so far down, that you are on your knees and can’t get back up, you are in the perfect place to pray and reach out to God. Continue reading