Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It is wrong to think about human suffering a lot?

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I am someone who knows deep human suffering and having no-one who cares.

I have always thought about it a lot. I still do, even though I am a Christian and know much good happens in the world too.

But, as a Christian, God doesn’t need help with the good, He wants some people to step up and help those suffering, who need help.

Yes, God doesn’t want us to be sad and wants us to have joy in our lives, which I do with my family, my husband and children, and my friends.

But, do I need more joy than that? Is it wrong to also spend a lot of time concerned and thinking about sin, suffering and focus on this too. I don’t want exercise, or craft, or cleaning to become my idols, I want to focus on what I believe are my purposes in life, my family and helping others.

I think there needs to be people willing to sacrifice some of their own happiness, to consider other people’s suffering and help in any way possible. It’s unselfish to be concerned daily with others, not oneself.

I can be moved to tears just thinking of all the suffering the people on my page have endured, and that’s just a fraction of the suffering in this world.

When you consider what some people have done to serve God to help those suffering in the world, it makes me know people can help and I want to one of those. It’s why I reach out every day to people in the only way I can at present.

Is it wrong to sacrifice some of my time every day, to help those suffering, with some kind words, some validation, some compassion? Is this wrong, as long as I protect my own healing, which I have, by removing private messaging and creating more balance with family and creative activities.

But, is it so wrong, to help people for a few hours a day. What else would I be doing? What is more important than helping people, as long as what is needed for my own family and health, is always prioritised.

Other people who help people for money, as a job, they do it all day, but they get paid, so that is seen as acceptable, but if it’s unpaid then it’s considered by some to not be. And I have been criticised for spending ‘too much time’ on my community support page.

I think helping others, for no financial incentive is a good heart. Not that there is anything wrong with being paid to provide counselling, but it doesn’t make it less worthy if you are not being paid.

I choose to give to people on my community page all I know, all I learn in counselling, all I can to assist them in their healing journey. That’s why the first word of my page name is ‘Healing’. To assist people healing.

I choose to give others what I never had – kindness, compassion, validation, care, love, an understanding they are not alone, to see my faith, to bring hope. And with no expectation of anything on return.

My greatest joy with comments on the page, is when someone says what was posted helped them, not the thanks and the lovely comments I get about me, which is very kind of people, but when they say – ‘I really needed that right now’, or ‘I felt so alone until I read this’, or ‘I thought I was the only one struggling with this’ – that’s what I am always thankful for the most.

And yes it’s ‘only’ a Facebook community support page, but, I know social media is a big part of people’s lives now, whether people think that is good or not – it is a fact of life and is often the only connection to the world some people have. So it is a good place to reach out and I know it helps people, I know by how fast it has grown and how popular the page is, that it helps people. I am real about my journey, honest and people can see that honesty and how I understand their pain and they relate to me, relate to what I post.

So, I do consider human suffering a lot and help people with it every day, but is that wrong?

I seem to have Mother Teresa stuck in my mind at the moment, partly because I’ve always been fascinated by her quotes and life, but also because she was someone who did devote her life to God and she saw human suffering all the time and she gave her life to helping those suffering.

Now, I am definitely no Mother Teresa and I have a family, so I am not about to go off and help starving people and set up charities etc, but I see she sacrificed so much, for others, for those suffering. I don’t consider her decision to do this wrong.

Plus, talking more about human suffering, means my family think about it more and today, my son said he would like to sponsor a child. I asked him why and he said, because so many children are starving Mum, as you talk about that when we say grace at dinner time and I know if everyone shared with all those starving, there would be less people starving.

I hope my children do grow to be adults who consider others, consider those suffering and want to help, through sponsorship and any other ways they can.

If more people thought about human suffering and were prepared to act, then there would be less.

So, I don’t consider it wrong that I think about human suffering every day, and I know that I endured suffering and total aloneness, for a reason, to have empathy and to have it on my heart to want to do whatever I can, for others.

I believe in the kindness of strangers, it has been something in my past, that has helped me.

Once a neighbour asked me if I was okay and she said it with real concern. This was during the captivity and I wasn’t okay. I was being abused severely and no-one cared. My family didn’t care, I had no friends. This neighbour asking if I was okay, was the only kindness I received that year. So even though I lied and said I was okay, her concern meant something to me and I still remember it clearly, even though it was 25 years ago. I remember her clearly, she was an older lady, I remember her face, and her concerned look, how she tentatively asked, but seemed genuinely concerned. It meant everything to me at that time. Someone cared.

Strangers, and their kindness, sometimes is all someone has and can make a difference.

So, it’s all about balance, having joy which I do, but human suffering is something very much on my heart and always will be.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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