Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

New start, new Church, new chapter of our spiritual journey.

My family and I are starting at a new Church on Sunday and I am really looking forward to it.

My family and I have needed time to heal, time to grieve – due to considerable harm caused by the last Church we attended. It takes time to heal from spiritual abuse and God graciously provided this, with healing through this, just as my wise doctor said would happen at the beginning.

Not once in the last 6 months have I doubted God and I am aware that is not common through devastating spiritual abuse.

I passed the test I didn’t even know I was in, until recently, of my faith in God, my obedience to walk with Jesus and feel his presence, to be transformed by the Holy Spirit and feel that too, to listen to people, to stop and think what God wants, not be impulsive, do what is required of me, all through the refining fire and for my husband to also see all this, was so good for him to witness.

I stood in the storm, for God, for my love for Him, for His purposes, with integrity, with honesty, with humility praising Him and all the way and He has richly blessed us in return.

I have grown considerably through this, as has been noted by others I consider and know to be wise.

I love that word ‘wise’.

This is what I want more of ‘wisdom’, because often those that think people are ‘Godly’ are kidding themselves – us sinners can never be compared to God. And those that think they are spiritually mature, are not.

Wisdom, is far more than many Christians believe or understand they need or lack.

I have seen highly unwise actions.

I have seen ‘selective bible verse abuse’.

I have seen religious actions.

I have seen cognitive distortions.

I have seen spiritual immaturity.

I picked up on it all, confused, but to then have this explained by my wise counsel and I continue to say Praise God for blessing me so richly with these wise women in my life.

God has provided me with so many clear examples of what ‘not to do’ as a wise Christian and I thank Him for that, they are invaluable lessons to learn, even though they hurt.

I have much more to learn and I am also so looking forward to Bible College next year and I don’t know where my journey to helping others, serving others will take me, I wait for God to make that clear.

I am someone who always looks to what I have learned, what needed to change, what has changed in my heart, in my wisdom, in my healing. My ability to reflect about myself and others God blessed me with, is something I can see as being a vital part of my growth.

I believe in there being chapters in our lives.

I know God has always lead me to better, through each chapter of my life, leading towards Him, to grow in His wisdom, with life wisdom being one of those that is required for real wisdom and growth and empathy.

To understand so deeply how much I cannot do this in my own strength and understand with humility increasing in me, we can fail when we take our eyes off Jesus, away from wisdom.

God’s awesome grace, power and love have been revealed to me so clearly and I know it will continue in all our lives. I wait patiently for continuing growth in my husband and my children, which will be in God’s perfect timing, I also trust completely.

We are turning the page to a new Chapter and I eagerly await to see what it will bring, as each chapter has always been better and what God requires.

It was once nastily said to me ‘will you ever be happy at any Church?’

Well, sadly this just proves spiritual immaturity, because spiritually more progressed Christians ‘will’ be choosy about where they decide their Church will be, who is in leadership, will we grow there, what is their understanding of ‘community’, does leadership reject being challenged, do they encourage cliques and inner circles, are they limited in their own maturity, will the leadership recognise spiritual progression and encourage that?

All questions I have.

I don’t want my family to be at a Church where leadership are religious, unwise, are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally are immature and are religious and abusive.

That makes me wise.

And God knows that is what we need.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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