Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


1 Comment

I am not the enemy, but many are decieved into believing I am.

galatians416

God requires people with certain strengths, for certain tasks.

In exposing a ravenous wolf, a false teacher, a narcissistic pastor, who is arguably incapable of being a Christian, let alone be a pastor, God required my strengths, and weaknesses.

His grace enabled healing, invaluable lessons along the way and this is because He knows my heart and knows all I want is to become more of what He wants every day.

God needed someone who understands narcissistic traits, who wouldn’t be bullied into silence and at the end of devastating spiritual abuse, would have the empathy required and the spiritual progression to see the whole picture, the deeper spiritual picture.

But, this quote/pic, depicts exactly what happened, no support from the Church, or the senior leader and made to leave. They believe I am the enemy and have treated me that way, with Satan loving this all the way through.

Sad for that Church, they failed so miserably in a test that showed their hearts, their unwise decision, their narcissism, their spiritual immaturity, but at least people are aware of it, and hopefully will give this Church the help they so clearly need.

It’s sad.

This Church are being deceived into thinking I am the enemy, not understanding who is the enemy.

Just what Satan wants, of course.


3 Comments

Terminal aloneness, is different to emptiness.

There are terms used within complex trauma, for identifying differences between diagnoses.

One of them is suicide ideation as a coping strategy to endure abuse, as opposed to suicide ideation due to that emptiness people with personality disorders have.

Emptiness, is a classic symptom of a personality disorder, but I have not had that. Continue reading


If a decision is not wise, it is not grace.

Blogging is great, a good coping strategy, a way to not suppress my emotions, a way to help others. A way to reflect on my progress, my continuing spiritual development, my deep desire to know more, to be what God wants me to be.

It also allow me to look back and see what I was still struggling with and trying to process. It shows how I don’t rest until I have considered the deeper, bigger picture, sought advice, and understand it.

Like grace. Continue reading