Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Cult like behaviours to avoid in Church’s.


Cult-like behaviours in a Church, to be avoiding.

1.Hierarchy needs of leadership.
2.Leadership state they are not to be challenged and view challenge and exposing abuse by leadership as persecution.
3.Leadership strongly resist being challenged and act with rage when they are.
4.When a senior pastor almost warns you off exposing another pastor.
5.When leadership fail to support someone abused by a leader.
6.The Church’s beliefs are all about self, self driven.
7.The Church’s concept of community, is their own inner community focus.
8.Those who challenge, are made to know they should leave.
9.When leaders sin, badly, including abuse, the other leadership present a ‘forgive and forget, or get out’ attitude.
10.Selective Bible verse abuse.
11.Self motivated sermons, which are so clearly not Biblical, but are portraying a message to a person.
12.The leadership lie for each other about sins and abuse.
13.Their own inner circle groups all speak about this Church family and how wonderful they are, are highly dependent on them, even though they see others are not invited into this inner circle, so being very selective, self serving and religious.
14.When leadership call themselves ‘mature Christians’ and ‘humble’.
15.When leadership are clearly spiritually immature.
16.Women are considered unequal to speak a message to the Church.
17.Women are only ‘allowed’, ‘permitted’ to speak a message to other women, when other Church’s within that denomination have women pastors.
18.The leadership are elitist and bash other Church’s and denominations, including up on their stage, to the Church.
19.The leadership have clear and obvious highly narcissistic traits, as narcissism is self led, not Christ led and narcissists are fake people, who often abuse.
20.The Church ‘rules’ are what the Church lives by not Jesus and those who won’t conform to this are seen as trouble makers.
21.The leadership promote ‘you can’t lose your salvation, so you can continue sinning’.
22.The leadership use and promote materials and other Church’s also considered to be cult-like, strongly authority led, say challenging leadership is sin, and churn out cookie-cutter Christians, and have doctrine gone too far.
23.Have Church members attack, accuse and bully a person spiritually abused by Church leadership.
24.When Church leadership, who have clearly abused someone, call the person demonic, for exposing them.
25.When Church leadership say that if those senior within the Church denomination don’t comply with this Church’s own beliefs, they will leave that denomination, showing their inability to be in authority an comply with their own denomination’s requirements.

Scary as!!!

Sad, to know this all occurs within one Church.

Cult-like – yes.

Did I see it all – yes.

Did I fall for it – no.

Did I ‘feel’ and ‘know’ all this was not right – yes.

Did we get out – yes.

Did God use me to expose this before getting out – yes.

Lessons that are vital and I am thankful for.

Praise God!

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “Cult like behaviours to avoid in Church’s.

  1. 16 and 17 are in the bible. and if you clearly have read the bible it states that only a man is suppose to have leadership of a church and speak a message to a congregration of women and men. Women are only to speak to women. women are not suppose to have leadership of a church group at all except if it is for women. this is not a cult, it is states so in the bible. I can give references. God made man to be leader. A woman is only to follow and be a helper. I am sure if you were to read where Lydia lead a group of women and they met and talked about spiritual things. nowhere do you see in scripture where women lead a congregation or teach or lead the whole congregation.

    as for 21, you can’t loose your salvation. as long as you are a child of God you can’t. no we can not go on sinning but we do but that is why we have God’s grace and as long as we have his grace we can’t loose our salvation. I don’t see anywhere in scripture that says we can loose our salvation. Yes, we will fall but we can not loose our salvation if we are truly a child of God’s.

    22, I dont understand.

    I will try to explain 18. as I am sure you were told that everyone does not follow the same God or believe in the same God. Each religion has their own beliefs and their own way to get to God and I these leaders/pastors are warning us of their beliefs and of their wrong doing and that there is only one way to God. For instance, catholics believe that if you are not in church every sunday you are dying and going to hell. also, they strongly believe that an infant should be christened and if they are not and they die they are going straight to hell. there is no biblical scripture according to this. Also, I find that there are different takes on baptism and there are different aspects taught. I think we should all read the bible and get our own prespective from what we should learn and do and not go by what man says. I think that is what our trouble is these days whoever goes and learns and studies doctrine or goes to these seminaries are taught only what they were taught and until we truly learn Hebrew, or whatever other language was written back in those days we will never fully understand the word of God and we can take it to mean what we want and use it for our own benefit. Words that were written back then we just do not know what intention they were written nor do we know what they mean as they have a different meaning these days.

    as for 20 dont you think it is good to have rules? I am not sure what rules you are referring to but i am interested in hearing what they were. I too left a church because of some of the things you have mentioned because I just felt it was wrong. As I did not think it was right to stand on a podium and tell me that I had to be in church every Sunday or I was not a true christian.

    I am interested in knowing what you mean by narcissit. I am sure all of us have this trait??

    I am curious to know if this church was a big church or a small church? maybe some of the people in the church do not see what you see as abuse. It is possible. I know only too well each of us have different opinions and we must or should respect everyone’s opinion. It is not my job to make them see my opinion and if these followers of this leader and attend this church are blinded by this then I also think it is not our job to show them what we think is wrong because I for one couldn’t do it scripturally. Can you?

    Please feel free to contact me at anytime. I am also on Facebook and follow your page. I really applaud you for taking a stand in doing something that you see and feel is right. Every Christian should take a stand on what they see is wrong but there are some of us that are too scared to stand up to the ones that have wronged us because we are ashamed and don’t have the proof of the things they do to us. I am in that situation now. things were said to me that was only face to face so it is only my word against theirs, so, I choose not to go back to this church again and I am in a place that I cant find another church and I am to the point that I really don’t want too.

    • Thank you for your reply.

      And I agree, every person abused should take a stand, as I have done with a formal complaint that has been taken seriously and I have produced evidence, with support from my very wise counsel – mental health professionals experienced in Church/spiritual abuse.

      I disagree that just because I can’t quote scripture as well as a Church leader that I shouldn’t make a complaint and I had the wisdom to know that God does require ravenous wolves in sheeps clothing and false leaders be fully exposed, and that is in scripture.

      Knowing scripture does not mean you have wisdom in applying it. I am blessed with wise Christian support who were able to explain why I had endured ‘selective Bible verse abuse’ which very much goes on.

      I am so sorry you have experienced problems with Church as well and do not have evidence, I can see that would make it very difficult, as even with evidence, I have been treated by this spiritually immature Church as being the problem. I think you are wise not returning to a Church where issues have occurred and I encourage you to seek another Church, as I have done and not let this affect your relationship with Jesus.

      It will take me too long to explain all your points and I have blogged all the reasons for them all, in previous blogs, and I have strong, wise Christian mental health professionals, who have deemed what I endured to be spiritual abuse, with grooming intent, my processing of the whole situation to be accurate, provided me with scripture that explains it, my understanding of narcissism is accurate and my observations of this church has been also clarified by my support as being those of a cult like Church, stuck also in stage 3 of spiritual progression.

      I am very blessed with the amazing professional support I have to confirm all this and help me deal with the 6 months of trauma counselling I have required due to the abuse and failure of the Church to deal with it appropriately.

      Please feel free to look through all my other blogs, which show how I have come to these points in this blog.