This is a subject I have been thinking of lately. I know a fair amount about narcissism, and those on the narcissist/sociopath continuum.
I have experienced considerable abuse from several of these. Including within the first 20 years of my life, having to be very hyper vigilant, study them, know their behaviours, know how to assess them, to stay safe, to stay alive.
My understanding of these narcs/sociopaths, is from considerable experience, not just studying psychology.
I can pick up their traits easily, I know what they are driven by – themselves and nothing else.
They have deeply self driven needs they don’t even understand in themselves. They can manipulate easily, lie, have an image built up to hide their deep inner emptiness and shame they can’t bear to acknowledge, so they hide it well, even from themselves.
They have no real empathy and often abuse, with no remorse, no self reflection, always deflecting.
They don’t and won’t change, they can’t, it’s their personality disorder that is formed before adulthood and it cannot be changed. They don’t respond to counselling, they can fake it, but they very rarely change. This is something well known to anyone in the mental health profession about narcissism.
Narcissism/sociopaths are the opposite of humility, opposite of understanding we need Jesus.
It’s why the joke ‘Does anyone know of any good self help books for narcissism’, is sad, because they truly cannot accept they have any issues, or need to change.
They can mimic being a Christian easily, learn all the scripture, have great ability to parrot it all, but with little deep understanding.
They can make what seems to be good pastors, often relying on their charming personality, their humour, their great platform skills, to mimic a pastor, but they are always self led, self serving, adoration seeking, authority driven, and these are their idols, their god.
Expose a narc/sociopath and watch them in action. Rage, denial, attacking, lies, deflecting, hitting the person where it would hurt the most.
I have seen this repeated in my life, I have watched them closely and I know what there are driven by – self.
I know what is their god – self.
With Satan loving it. Satan can use these narcs so easily, that’s why so many end up being abusers. They don’t believe what they are doing is wrong.
I find it hard to believe narcs/sociopaths can be Christians.
They can be believers, but not a Christian, in the true sense, being Christ focussed, as this is the opposite of a narc/sociopath’s deep needs – self.
Christians, need to accept they need Jesus, be willing to grow and change if they truly are in Christ.
There is conflicting Biblical interpretation of how you can’t lose your salvation if you are a Christian, but that is dependent on you actually being a ‘Christian’ in the first place, which is not as common as people think. I don’t believe every person baptized is necessarily a Christian, or is saved.
If you are a true Christian, you actually feel the presence of Jesus, know the prompting of the Holy Spirit, you want to do all you can to stop sinning, you want to grow, accept all your sins, and be willing and have humility to change and be changed.
Narcs don’t have this ability for any of this, at all.
Narcs keep sinning, as in the case of the narc pastor I was spiritually abused by, who believes he did nothing wrong. And this abuse has been stated as being spiritual abuse by experienced Christian mental health professionals, and I know it was abuse.
So, as a narc will keep sinning, is self driven, is the opposite of humility, is not Christ driven, are they really a Christian?
There is a lot of scripture that warns about lack of humility and wolves in sheeps clothing, false teachers and what it is to be a true Christian.
I believe scripture warns us of these narcs/sociopaths.
And I know I haven’t had so much experience with narcs/sociopaths in the past and recently for nothing.
All part of God’s plan. Not the abuse, God never wants us to suffer. But for me to learn from all this and I have and continue to.
And to add to this as well, is I also believe in God’s grace for people who have a mental incapacity to be a true Christians. How God works that out where any abuse by narcs/sociopaths comes in, I don’t know and is not mine to guess.
Narcs and sociopaths know what they do is wrong, as they hide it and lie about it. But, in some cases, there is actually no malicious intent, as they truly believe what they are doing is okay.
But abuse, that’s different, that is malicious intent whether a narc or a sociopath, they just don’t have any empathy about it.
But, it’s an interesting subject.