Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Exercise and healthy eating and my motivation. It has changed, praise God!

I have been through a ‘doing little’ phase, conserving my energies for something important, that is now over.

So, I decided I needed to get back into exercise, healthy eating, drinking more water, taking vitamins and supplements, all things I have let slide.

I am very unfit, probably the most unfit I have ever been in my life.

Exercise, when you are this unfit, sucks. But, it’s needed.

So, I’ve been on my cross trainer, did some sit ups, and will build this up each day, until I’m at a much healthier level of fitness.

I’ve been motivating people on my page to consider doing the same and listing the health benefits for body and mind and overall health.

Plus, I have been thinking that God wants us to be good stewards of our bodies, look after them, care about them in a way that honours what He has provided us.

To not care about our bodies in a way that He would want, is a big slap in the face, of being disrespectful to what we have been blessed with.

I have just realised, that not once have I thought lately about the reason for doing this, to be about the way I look.

Wow, there’s a huge change!

I have spent a lifetime, being obsessed about being a certain size, being obsessed about exercise, feeling disgusting if I feel overweight, starving myself until I am ‘thin enough’. Hating myself, if I am not how I think I should look.

My motivation all my life about my body and the way I look, has been about my deep lack of self worth and basing this on how I look. I know why, its all related to the abuse.

Most complex trauma survivors have issue with image, along with eating disorders, like I have to a certain degree. Plus, self harm, in starving myself, because I hate myself when I look in the mirror.

I have been on medication for the last 12 months, that makes you put on weight, so I have had to get used to it and accept it.

But, I’ve only just realised, I have.

And I know this, because I didn’t think about my weight, or want to weigh myself obsessively like I’ve always done, or measure myself, or even go look in the mirror to obsess about how fat I am.

And I probably weigh more now than I ever have in my life, except when pregnant.

Wow, this is a big change for me.

More healing, more focus on what God requires, not my complex trauma issue related needs and honour Him with caring for my body.

More obedience to God.

No longer is exercise and all my other self image issues, an idol.

Hear that Satan?

Wow! I am insightful enough, this is huge for me.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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