‘You are doing so much of your own counselling’.

August 19, 2013 by Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 1 Comment

This is something my counsellor has said to me, and she has also stated I would make a good trauma/abuse counsellor – due to my ability to self reflect, think deeply, work things out, understand myself an others so well.

I am aware I have done a lot of my own ‘exposure therapy’, which helps the survivor to become less impacted by the trauma, become more desensitized to it.

I have written over 200 blogs here, I have written for 6 months on my community page, I have processed a considerable amount and I know that.

I have written blogs about some things I could still not verbalise in counselling.

But, I am also so aware, this has been through Jesus, and the Holy Spirit working in me and I sense this well.

I know when I am confused about something, or feel I have not yet looked at something deeply enough, I can’t rest, I can’t ignore it, I have to know a peace about something to know I understand it enough at this point, I am very aware of the prompting of the Holy Spirit, Jesus’ presence in my life, praise God!

I have strengths due to my life, life wisdom, self insight, discipline for complete honesty needed to survive and I see these are God given gifts much needed to heal.

I am aware my discipline for honesty can be self sacrificial, as my emotional boundaries to protect myself are not my strengths. But, I am learning boundaries and I am questioning them all the time, but there is still improvement needed, I have still have much to learn in many areas.

I am aware my impulsive behaviours have changed, I am no longer impulsive and this is huge for me, I know that. That ability to no longer make decisions quickly, but to stop, long enough to see what I am being prompted to consider, is huge for me, I know what I have been capable of and not, in the last 4 decades of my life.

I know all of this would not have been possible without God. I know myself enough and I do have complete understanding in knowing I could not have done any of this by myself, such is my depth of knowing myself, in my own strength.

God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, enable me to learn, to grow and heal, along with my need and understanding of obedience, persistence, courage, strength – all gifts God given as well.

I am aware, my ability to do some of my own counselling, is all God and what He requires, for His purposes.

And none of this is due to me being stronger/better than anyone else, it is for God’s purposes, of which most I have no idea about.

But, I absolutely know the praise is all His.