Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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When you have seen true evil at work in people, you get to see how Satan’s mind works and how he encourages the ‘perfect cover’.

Abusers nearly always have a good ‘cover’. The clever ones do. The highly manipulative ones do.

Having a good cover, is the perfect way to deceive the most amount of people.

Abuse is evil, is of Satan, not of God.

My worst abuser – was man who did charity work – he was in the local newspapers for his contribution to charities. But behind the fake, lovely, kind man façade was a sociopath, a sadistic man, who abused for his pleasure. He delighted in terrorising a vulnerable teenager, with every kind of severe abuse. This truly was evil at work, and I saw it in him, what he was driven by, what he loved, what gave him joy , the master manipulator and it was all evil. Continue reading


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Having to add ‘spiritual abuse’ to my trauma list, is very sad.

I just shared my ‘about me’ on my community page, which I do every month, to let new members know my trauma history, where my understanding and empathy is from.

All the worst abuse in my life has come from those I trusted and loved and now I’ve had to add more to my trauma history. Continue reading


The last ‘message’ I heard from the senior pastor, was true to his bad heart and was clear in it’s intent.

The last time I went to the Church, where the pastor of the Church who spiritually abused me is at, the ‘message’ was loud and clear.

First an elder got up, and praised the spiritual abuser for all his good work. So that sent a clear message.

Then the senior pastor got up and within his message he stated about hurt caused, he looked directly at me and made a statement to the effect that I was not the only one hurting.

I know I am not the only one impacted by this abuse – but ‘I’ am the one who was abused – by his associate narc pastor – who has no remorse, no repentance and is a liar.

‘I’ am the one who has required 6 months of trauma counselling – due to the severity of this abuse to me. Spiritual abuse is evil and is trauma.

‘I’ am the one who was spiritually abused, with grooming, got badly hurt, lied to, lied about, attacked, called demonic, accused of attacking their children, and trusted someone I loved, who clearly was capable of much harm.

‘I’ am the one dealing with PTSD and got abused more, lost all my support network, due to this Church all sinning and failing to reach out to the one hurt and abused by Church leadership.

‘I’ am NOT the one responsible for any of this, the pastor is and his wife and the senior leader for failing to show support and the Church, and the people who claimed to be our friends – who have all sinned in their actions, or lack of actions.

‘My’ family are the ones that lost a Church, all our friends, youth group.

But, this message from the elder and the senior pastor was ‘very’ clear – ‘we’ support the associate pastor, and ‘we’ feel sorry for him, not you.

The amount of sin that has occurred within this, is deeply layered and their immaturity, weakness, lack of spiritual progression, lack of human decency, lack of love, is truly shocking.

A Church desperately in need of much help.

Desperately needing to be made aware of how badly they failed and hurt someone, already hurting, already spiritually abused, and how they were tested, by God, and they failed, badly.

It’s so pathetic how they have dealt with it, and with such bad heart issues and such sin, that it is deeply sad.

Many of these people have no right to call themselves Christians.

They aren’t – they are just religious hypocrites, with bad heart issues, far too many narcissistic traits, weakly led, abusive, far to cult-like people, who don’t have a clue what it is to be Christ led, or understand what it is to be a Christian.

Failures, weak, sad. And such a large group of them, all in one place, dangerous too.

Satan will be grinning from ear to ear.

Well done to the former church/cult I attended, for being a church Satan uses so easily.