Just watched a movie, I probably should not have watched. Too many bad memories.

Just watched the movie Safe Haven, with my husband.

It was very reminiscent of a movie that always has bad connections with past – Sleeping With The Enemy – Julia Roberts.

I watched this movie, with my worst abuser. If I was a ‘good girl’ I was rewarded with a movie and dinner out.

These two movies had similar plot lines, an abused woman, is on the run from this abusive, highly controlling, psychopath and highly dangerous man, tries to make a new life, but all the time knowing this abuser will probably come after her and the abuser does, she nearly dies, but is saved by the new lovely man in her life.

I have to keep reminding myself, I am still recovering from spiritual abuse.

Whenever I feel tired, or sad, I get annoyed with myself, for not maintaining my more positive attitude.

Then I get reminded that what I have endured recently is spiritual abuse, with grooming, all of which is evil, and along with that, I am exhausted from all the ongoing formal complaint process and being attacked further.

All that has occurred has been evil, from the actual abuse last year, to all the lies this year, being attacked with further abusive names, being bullied by Church members, no-one stepping up and actually being a Christian.

I know the page is turning on this chapter of my life, but you can’t just heal from spiritual abuse quickly.

Can Abusive Churches Change?

Those who find themselves in authoritarian churches often remain despite the difficulties because there is an underlying hope that the church can change. Even after they leave they often remain keenly interested in the affairs of the former church because they hope restoration will still occur.

Can abusive churches change? Although with God all things are possible, it is my opinion that it is highly unlikely that this will happen. Although a few have, they are the exceptions.

Why is change in these organizations so difficult? One reason is that change usually begins in the leadership. However, the leadership structure is designed so that the leader has control over the personnel. Although there may be a board, the individuals on the board are ultimately selected by the authoritarian leader. He selects men and women loyal to him, who do not question him, or hold him accountable. Therefore, he insulates himself from dealing with difficult issues or addressing his unhealthy practices.