I have had hyper vigilance since childhood, I needed it due to ongoing abuse.
I don’t remember being any other way.
I’ve always studied people, assessed them, picked up on all the subtle and covert cues for working out people’s intentions, when their words and image don’t match, pick up when people’s behaviours change.
My short term memory has always been shocking and I guess my brain has prioritised what it needs to function for – survival.
I’m sure there is some medical, neurological explanation, but I am speaking from a person’s perspective who has hyper vigilance and how it works to me.
Every ‘red flag’ moment in people’s behaviours, are stored away and can be remembered whenever something triggers that.
Like my last blog.
I was thinking about repentance and what a hypocrite someone is and then remembered a situation regarding him insisting on someone else repenting, but fails deeply to do this himself. This and so many other examples, proving my understanding of this man and why this hypocrisy is known to me and the ‘ref flag’ I heard from him that didn’t seem ‘okay’ at the time.
Now I know why, because all the red flags, were cues this man was a fake, a person with very high levels of narcissism, which I saw, along with all the red flags I saw in his wife, and God exposed this all fully.
God has designed our brains in such a, amazing and complex way, to endure much.
Hyper vigilance is excellent discernment if you have the ability to just sit with it and store it away. As I do.
I see odd things, weird things and red flags in people’s behaviours all the time, but I know everyone is different and I accept differences, I always have, but these red flags when increasing and becoming something I ‘know’ is wrong, is my strong discernment skills.
This discernment, is not your average skill level, because you have to have been in considerable ongoing danger, to have needed this hyper vigilance, but also have a really strong mind to use it well.
My hyper vigilance, is a gift, from God.
It helped me survive.
It helps me have discernment about people now. I pick up on much that many others will miss.
And God has used my gifts recently, although I am aware that to people who do not know much about psychology, often won’t be understood, or acknowledged.
People often wrongly assume PTSD is poor mental health, when in fact it has gifts within it that create a level of wisdom, beyond many.
My mental health is very strong, as I have been told by those who are qualified to state that.
My doctor confirmed in a report about my hyper vigilance and discernment ability. She is someone every wise, who knows a lot about complex trauma, along with my very wise counsellor.