Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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When I had to let go of my family, my mother and have no contact.

It was a painful time, coming to the realisation of my highly dysfunctional family dynamics, how much abuse had occurred.

When I had to have a non contact boundary, it was painful, still is at times.

I love my family, but they are toxic and messed up more than they will ever understand and I love them from a safe distance.

It was the first healthy boundary, I ever implemented.

This song, was one that helped me realise, I needed to not belong to them anymore, and belong to Jesus and my heavenly Father.

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Jesus saying to me ‘if you love Me, with all that you are’. And I do.

This song reminds me of a point in my life when I was just realising that God didn’t hate me and Jesus was gently pulling me to Him.

I haven’t played this for months, but I remember thinking about Jesus when I played this song often.
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PTSD and isolation

PTSD can cause isolation and is something that needs to be addressed, slowly, carefully. I could have ended up completely isolated, but I listen to how to avoid this, how to tackle anxiety and improved my ability to manage the symptoms.
Praise God!

Bipolar For Life

One of the classic traits of PTSD is isolation.  PTSD sufferers often feel unable to relate to other people.  Sometimes this results from a feeling that others can’t possibly understand them, and sometimes it’s not a conscious thing at all, just an uncomfortable or even aversive feeling around other humans.

I say “other humans” because people with PTSD often feel comforted by animals.  Animals will love you unconditionally, and often will protect you during an episode of symptoms.  The mere presence of an animal can sometimes be comforting enough to head off a full-blown episode.

One problem with isolation is that it is self-perpetuating.  Who the hell wants to be around a touchy individual who tends to disappear off the map for reasons most people cannot fathom?  And if concerned individuals ask why, they are not likely to get a straight answer, because who wants to go through the whole…

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God always provides…..of that I do not doubt and continually I see and feel.

We have only been going to our new Church for 3 weeks.

Already many people know us, talk to us, and are just so friendly and lovely.

We are already in a care group, I am already attending an excellent Bible study group at the Church, I have been invited to join groups, a ladies group on Monday evenings, playgroup, an upcoming trip strawberry picking and have my first new friend, who also has just started scrapbooking – how perfect is all that!

My children are happy, a new and big youth group is starting next month for my son and they are both very settled already, which is a truly amazing sign, not that I need sign, because I trust in God. Continue reading


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Happy Father’s Day, to my perfect heavenly Father!

Father’s Day, is always difficult and I always focus on my husband being such a good Dad and our boys being so blessed.

Normally, there is always a level of sadness on either Mother’s or Father’s day, which is okay as I didn’t have good relationships with either of mine.

At Church, the minister said all the lovely and much deserved things about Father’s and Grandfather’s, which was lovely, but also said about this day being a sad one for some, but how today is also Father’s Day for our heavenly Father – God. Which is also how I decided earlier this morning to view today.

So, this is what my focus is, how truly loved and blessed I know I am, with a Father who’s grace and love are written all through my life, who loves me so deeply, with a love that is unfathomable, but I feel it nonetheless.

To know this love, to feel Jesus’s presence in the way He has revealed Himself to me, to see and understand all this grace throughout my life, is a gift beyond anything an earthly Father could ever show, or give his child.

I am a dearly loved and chosen daughter of God, and this I know beyond any doubt.

Happy Father’s Day to my awesome, loving, gracious, perfect heavenly Father!

I love You, in all your Triune forms, with all my heart and You know my heart.

May You continue to teach me, to grow me, to discipline me, lead me, guide me and transform me into all You want me to be, as the perfect Father You are.

I can only hope to be all You want me to be, for Your purposes, and always for Your glory and praise.