Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Really sad seeing pastors and narcs encouraging wrong beliefs. And why this made me cry.


Rightly judging the sins of other Christians in love, is Biblical, required by Jesus.

Grace, is not about ignoring sins and leaving it to God. Grace is ‘what would Jesus do?’

You ‘can’ lose your salvation and if you deliberately remain in non repentance, hurting others in the process, your eternal life is at risk.

These are all beliefs I know, but the opposite is being encouraged by pastors, pastors I know.

I see why narcissists are drawn to this un-Biblical belief that you can’t lose your salvation. It’s perfect for narcs, they can continue sinning, knowingly, not be truthful, lie and not repent, but think it’s okay – they believe they are saved, no matter what.

This is so sad and the fact that I believe their eternal life is at risk, scares me for them.

I want to grab hold of them, shake off these immature beliefs, talk sense into them, and just say ‘look, just be honest, tell the truth, because God requires repentance and I don’t want to believe you may go to hell.’

I actually cried about this earlier.

There are people who have hurt me badly, are lying still, denying the truth and not repenting and despite all the hurt, betrayal, abuse, lies etc. I still care about them and I am scared for their eternal life being at risk.

I actually don’t want anyone to go to hell. Not even any of my abusers.

People talk about abusers and how they deserve to burn in hell and I understand why people think that, but the thought of that just fills me with such pain at anyone going to hell. I would much rather they all came to realise the Truth and had true remorse and repented and had eternal life, although I am aware this is highly unlikely.

I can’t make any of them do what is required. Jesus couldn’t make people do the right thing, so I have no chance. All I can do is pray for them, and I have. I have prayed for all of my abusers, despite everything.

Some people may say I am being judgemental in insisting sins are dealt with fully, but it isn’t wrong judgement, it is wise and right judgement and is actually love and grace. I want to do all I can to ensure no-one else gets hurt and also I am aware of the spiritual consequences if these sins are not dealt with in full.

I am aware that this matter of the formal complaint of spiritual abuse and all the following lies, denial, attacking and further spiritual abuse, is actually a matter of life or death for the people concerned. Because their eternal life is dependant on how they deal with their sins and to continue sinning, with lies and denial and non repentance, scares me for them. And not wanting them to lose their eternal life, is grace.

And spiritual abuse is not something God will take lightly. That plus all the lies are an abomination to God. That’s why there are so many Bible verses in God’s Word about all this.

I am aware I am an unusual person, to be concerned about people’s eternal souls, but I am someone who learned young to still love people after they hurt me.

I don’t have to have people in my life who treat me badly and I know I needed better boundaries, as Christians are not meant to be doormats for abuse.

But, I still love the people who were in my heart before I realised who they truly were and despite everything and I care about their future, enough to make me cry and be scared for them.

My husband would be annoyed with me, if he knew I had shed more tears over people that have hurt me so badly.

But, I am who I am and I can see past the hurt I feel, to the bigger spiritual picture and I am someone who when I love people, I love them.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “Really sad seeing pastors and narcs encouraging wrong beliefs. And why this made me cry.

  1. our salvation is not dependent on anything we do, therefore it is not ours to truly lose or gain. it is by faith alone, thru christ alone!

    • I agree our salvation is not something we can earn, but I believe we can lose it.
      If we are truly in Christ, then repentance, honesty etc is something we will choose, not spiritual abuse, lies, denial, attacking someone.
      There are many Bible verses that talk of people losing their salvation and that is God’s judgement, not ours.