Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

So the formal complaint report, was exactly what I expected.


Apparently the information contained in the report is to remain confidential.

Yes, well as long as I don’t say names, I can say what I like here, in my blog.

It has been confirmed all the things I could prove, has been stated to be highly inappropriate, complete failure to adhere to code of conduct, highly inappropriate use of facebook messaging and he has to close his facebook account and only have one with his wife (and she needs to keep a much closer eye on him), complete failure to conduct counselling appropriately and failure to keep any records about these ‘counselling’ sessions. That’s a lot of failures.

Due to so many denials (lies) by them, motive cannot be ascertained/proven, but my doctor stated it was spiritual abuse and she saw them in action. My counsellor has seen the messages and she confirmed it was spiritual abuse and grooming. I am aware the people who matter, who know me, know the truth, including Jesus.

So, he cannot do anything like this again for 5 years, or he loses his pastor license, so that is a huge relief, as hopefully this will mean no-one else has to endure what he did to me, so praise God for that!!

He is being investigated further due to my complaint and his ‘burn out’ (which was his excuse) to see if he is suitable to continue in his job.

He has to write an essay on code of conduct, report regularly about his conduct and a few other things. As if that fixes a pathological liar/narcissist.

Oh, and they criticised my doctor and the mediation set up. This is a professional counselling centre – with highly trained Christian mental health professionals, which very much witnessed spiritual abuse and my doctor confirmed that in writing she witnessed ‘spiritually abusive behaviour’.

The report also did not refer to the impact all these failures have had on me. These codes of conduct are there for a reason, to stop people getting hurt, so regardless of whether they believe it was intentional or not, the fact remains I got very hurt at a very fragile time, and yet there is no apology, no recommendation for him to apologise or be accountable for the harm caused by his failures.

As Christians, we are meant to own our sins and any harm caused, regardless of intentionality, but only strong people can do that, weak people won’t.

I will be appealing against the inaccurate statements made and also supplying the messages that do detail all the worst comments and admissions made by this man, as they were ‘conveniently’ left out of the report.

There was also no mention of the damage this did to me, or my family, or the 6 months of spiritual abuse counselling I required to deal with this. the effect on me, completely ignored.

Of course there was mention of my PTSD, and an inaccurate statement made that this spiritual abuse worsened my PTSD. Which is a lie, because I stated my PTSD has actually improved – despite all this – it was the spiritual abuse I needed so much counselling about.

It’s simply a case of being like a court hearing, they get found guilty on what there is concrete evidence of, and not guilty on things there was no absolute evidence of, but that doesn’t mean they are ‘not guilty. It just means they lied and there wasn’t enough evidence to prove it 100%.

My main aim was to expose this man for all his lies, sins and abuse, so some have been proven and will be addressed. The lies, well they have to live with that and God knows, he saw it all.

The other main reason for this complaint was to ensure no-one is hurt again by these liars/abusers and I continue to pray that does not happen and I have done all I can so far to ensure that.

If people are deceived by the lies, well that just shows their weakness and their lack of understanding narcissism.

All you can do is feel sorry for these people. So deceived and they don’t even realise it.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “So the formal complaint report, was exactly what I expected.

  1. Thank you for sharing this experience, and I appreciate the calmness and forthrightness in your manner. I’ve been through similar (not the same), and recognize the traits you describe in the various people involved. We can only do what we can do. And each individual is judged in the end by the One who sees all, and has perfect justice and mercy. Peace to you.

    • Thank you for your message.
      I’m sorry you have endured similar, sadly it happens a lot more than it should and those around these liars get deceived and that is sad too.
      The good thing, is I would rather know and not be deceived and God has been so good in His grace to me, in opening my eyes to false teachers and liars/narcissists.
      I feel sorry for all those continuing to be deceived, but I can only do what I can and leave the rest to God.
      And yes, they will all have to answer to Him one day.

  2. Yes, God has opened my eyes to where I need to gain my strength – Jesus and also who are honest and love me.
    This whole process has shown to me who my husband is and our marriage has strengthened so much. I also know who to trust and my very wise counsellor and doctor have supported me and know me more than most and they believe me and believe in me.
    I have learned so much through this process and there has been healing in this, as is God’s grace and love for me too.
    God ensured I would come through the storm, using me as he needed my strengths, but through this with more of what I needed and healing and my faith increasing all the time.