Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Grieving is about loss…..


This was a popular post on my community page, as often people don’t realise they are grieving.

People often assume grieving is about the death of someone, which it is and is heartbreaking, but grieving is about loss.

I am grieving the loss of relationships with family, who whilst they are still alive, the loss of them in my life, knowing they will never be in my life, is loss like someone dying.

I am grieving a Mother who didn’t protect me and love me.

I am grieving a Father, who abandoned me and does not wish to see me, even though I now live really close to him.

I am grieving the loss of my relationship and contact with my siblings, who I have always loved and protected when we were children.

Grieving is also about trauma.

I am grieving the huge amounts of abuse I was subjected to as a child and adolescent.

I am grieving a childhood stolen from me. My innocence stolen from me.

I am grieving how all this abuse has changed my life from what it should have been.

I am grieving having severe complex PTSD as a result of all the abuse.

I am grieving my loss of independence and inability to work and support myself.

I am grieving babies I have lost, who didn’t live for me to hold and love.

I have been told I have a huge amount of loss to grieve, as well as recent trauma I have endured.

I know many here will relate to this, and please know, whilst many people will not recognise this as ‘grieving’, assuming it only applied to the death of a loved one, it is grieving.

Grieving all this is deeply painful, takes as long as any other grieving and often we don’t get the support or recognition of this being deep intense grieving.

Please know I ‘do’ understand.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “Grieving is about loss…..

  1. I honor your strength as it also resides in me and all survivors. We are learning to be healthy and it is a lifetime journey. We did not get the foundation of forming healthy relationships and they are often foreign to us. Grief has stages and the minute we enter a new stage about an event, we go back to the stage we thought we had finished. My team of doctors have given me the perspective of an onion, a layer at a time. We always know that all forward motion counts. Keep writing!