Narcissists thrive only for themselves. They are completely self motivated, self absorbed, feel entitled to everything they want to do, have no compassion and no remorse. They lack empathy completely.
Narcissists and sociopaths, operate in similar ways.
They use you as prey.
They get close to you, build up your trust, mimic your emotions, take full advantage of your vulnerability and compassion, get you on your own, build a relationship where you begin to need them and depend on them.
They groom you and are highly clever at this.
They are emotional vampires, and narcissists are dangerous, abusive people.
Then once they are done with you, or you figure them out, or leave them, it all changes.
The narcissists worst nightmare is being exposed.
They will resist this at all costs, lie, deceive, deny and manipulate those around them, they will act outraged at what you are doing to ‘them’ and if all else fails, will manipulate those around them into believing they are the victim.
Not once in all of this, do they actually care about their ‘supply’.
All the fake emotions they have shown, all the words they used to ‘reel you in’, all the ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I care deeply about you’ and ‘I want to help you’s’ , were all fake, they didn’t mean a word of it.
Once exposed, you see their real motives and their real feelings about you.
Then, they are hot on the pursuit of ensuring no-one believes their ‘supply’ and will set out with the help of their supporters, to make you seem crazy, or a liar, or evil.
All along, they have no concept of the fact that they have ripped your heart out, stomped all over it and the pain you are left in.
They have no empathy for the hurt they caused, just a complete sense of entitlement, complete lack of insight, complete lack of courage to face what they have done.
And complete lack of love, care, compassion or empathy.
It takes a long time to recover from narcissistic abuse and it’s so hard for many victims to just watch them carry on enjoying their lives, whilst the victim grieves, is confused, is hurt and cannot understand how they can do this, after all they had said and done.
It’s so hard for victims to understand how they were not loved at all, just used and abused, chewed up and then spat back out of the devils mouth and left to deal with all the hurt and pain and deal with others who now believe a whole pack of lies too.
Recovery is slow and painful, especially when it is multiple narc/sociopath abusers and especially when the abuse is still raw.
Recovery includes grieving, twice.
1. Grieving the person you thought they were who you loved and believed loved you too, and then..
2. Grieving the real person they are, the narc, who never cared and used you as supply, with no remorse.
Matt 7:6 Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
I will never forget this verse.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
This article was published in the best selling book written by Shahida Arabi
– Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself – available on Amazon at
This article has been published by The Minds Journal – which I am so thankful for.
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