Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Why Jesus really died on the cross and why most Christians have this all wrong.

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I really needed to go to the Xplore course today, and God made a way.

I wasn’t going to be able to attend this course this week, because of my husbands shifts. Turns out, a few days ago, someone wanted to swap a shift, so my husband was working 6am-2pm, and it meant I could go.

Which I was really happy about and thanked God, but now I see why today was really important.

Really, really important.

Today, was about Jesus’ crucifixion and I realised everything I had already learned before, was all completely wrong.

God didn’t put Jesus on the cross for our sins, to beat hit and thrash Him because we are evil and needed someone to be a sacrifice for our sins, so we could be saved.

Wow, that was a big one to learn.

‘People’ put God on the cross and God stood up to evil and did not repay evil, with evil. To show who He really is.

Our sins are part of Jesus’ life and death, but anyone who preaches, or believes Jesus came to die solely for our sins, does not know who God is.

Many Christians, believe this truncated false belief that Jesus came ‘just for us’, to ‘die for us’, ‘to save us from a God who would otherwise have to put us in hell’. All me me me.

This is the Old Testament false belief that God is a smiting God, a vengeful God, who needs to punish us because we are all sinners, but then loved us so much that He sacrificed His only son instead, to save us from God’s wrath.

I never believed this was quite right, heard many sermons on this, all that didn’t sit right with me, and now I know why.

Jesus is God revealed in human form.

Why would God punish Himself?

Why does He need to punish Himself, or perfect sinless Jesus for our sins.

God wouldn’t punish anyone who is sinless and blameless, for someone else’s sins, that is not love, that is punishment.

God doesn’t punish the innocent and He didn’t punish Jesus (who is God).

If God thrashed and beat His only son, who was totally innocent, then that would make Him a child abuser. God is not a child abuser.

Penal substitution – says we need saving from God, this is not true, we need saving from Satan and God is our rescuer.

God is perfect and pure love. To choose to sacrifice His only son, and want Him to endure such pain and torture, is not love, that is evil.

Jesus being crucified, was evil occurring, due to humans and Satan.

Love and evil cannot exist in God together. There is no evil in God, He did not require a sacrifice due to His anger for our sins, to avoid His wrath.

The crucifixion was a cosmological deliverance from evil, not an individual saving of our sins, but to save us from all evil.

God saved us from Satan on the cross.

This blows my mind and makes so much sense and I get this. I truly get this.

It’s also why the Passion of the Christ movie is completely wrong and Mel Gibson is known to enjoy and have sadomasochistic tendencies and portrays Jesus and God in a truly wrong light in this movie.


Hell doesn’t exist – that was another one that is completely different from all I have heard.

Gehenna – the word used for Hell, is a valley in Jerusalem used for dumping refuse, the references to ‘burning’, are because the rubbish was burned there. This has been widely mis-translated into hell being ‘burning for eternity’.

Sheol – another word used for hell, identifies the general abode of the dead, a place where life no longer exists.

But, there is no burning pit we and Satan and all the demons, get chucked into as punishment from God.

God doesn’t repay evil with evil.

God is not the punishing God as many believe.

If we believe God is perfect and God is love, then love doesn’t repay evil, with evil and throw people into fire to burn for eternity.

We are not all saved, and we can lose our salvation, but for those not saved, they don’t end up in a fire pit and burn in hell for eternity.

What happens when we don’t spend eternity with God, is we just wither away and die and cease to exist.

This is also what I saw from N T Wright about hell not existing and how we just slowly wither away to nothing and die.

God doesn’t force anyone to trust in Him and follow the right and very narrow path, in Christ, and we can only do that and be converted ‘if’ we know who God ‘really’ is and most Christians don’t.

Most Christians have the Old Testament false belief of who God is, just as the Jews did.

Most Christians are following an idol, as the Jews did.

And they are not saved.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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