Poem – Fear of Rejection/Abandonment of the Scapegoat Child.

December 9, 2013 by Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 4 Comments

Poem, I wrote, about my role within my highly dysfunctional abusive harmful family, where my role was scapegoat – for all blame, shame and failure, of my narcissist mother and sociopath step father, along with being the object for their ridicule, scorn and emotional punch bag.

Fear
Rejection
Burned
Into her soul

The narcissist
Mother
Rejects
Her child
Neglect
Abandonment
Of all needs

Fragile
Fearful
Compliant
She learns
Painfully
Of rejection
So young

Blamed
Shamed
She is
By gods and monsters
Her family
Black hearts
Black souls
Their need
To hurt her

She knows
Nothing else
But feels
It’s wrong
Too scared
To speak
And face
The sting and pain
The fear and depression
Of rejection

Continuing
Into adulthood
Continuing
To do
What’s wanted
What’s asked
What’s expected
Her learned
Childhood role

Hurts more
To be rejected
Than accept
The pain
Of the shame
Inflicted
Cruelly upon her
The scapegoat
Her role

Knowing
Her role
She accepts
The least
Of two evils
Burns with the blame
Burns, with the pain
Burns with the shame
Not ever hers
To own

To lose
Her loved ones
Or accept
The enforced
Scapegoat role
She remains
In pain
Unable
To know

Any other
Way.

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