Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Poem – Fear of Rejection/Abandonment of the Scapegoat Child.

4 Comments

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Poem, I wrote, about my role within my highly dysfunctional abusive harmful family, where my role was scapegoat – for all blame, shame and failure, of my narcissist mother and sociopath step father, along with being the object for their ridicule, scorn and emotional punch bag.

Fear
Rejection
Burned
Into her soul

The narcissist
Mother
Rejects
Her child
Neglect
Abandonment
Of all needs

Fragile
Fearful
Compliant
She learns
Painfully
Of rejection
So young

Blamed
Shamed
She is
By gods and monsters
Her family
Black hearts
Black souls
Their need
To hurt her

She knows
Nothing else
But feels
It’s wrong
Too scared
To speak
And face
The sting and pain
The fear and depression
Of rejection

Continuing
Into adulthood
Continuing
To do
What’s wanted
What’s asked
What’s expected
Her learned
Childhood role

Hurts more
To be rejected
Than accept
The pain
Of the shame
Inflicted
Cruelly upon her
The scapegoat
Her role

Knowing
Her role
She accepts
The least
Of two evils
Burns with the blame
Burns, with the pain
Burns with the shame
Not ever hers
To own

To lose
Her loved ones
Or accept
The enforced
Scapegoat role
She remains
In pain
Unable
To know

Any other
Way.

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Poem – Fear of Rejection/Abandonment of the Scapegoat Child.

  1. wow – very well conveyed – this really resonated with me & my situation – thanks for posting….
    http://finkling.com/2013/12/11/escaping-the-parent-trap/

  2. Reblogged this on Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD and commented:

    For anyone who knows the deep pain of being a family scapegoat.