Of course they do – they don’t want the truth about them exposed.
This will apply to all forms of abusers – mental, sexual, physical, psychological, verbal, spiritual and whether to adults, or children.
They know what they are doing is wrong.
If they hide their behaviour, or try to silence you, they DO know what they are doing is wrong. And the abuse is intentional and conscious acts and choices, to subject someone to harm.
The abuse was still a choice, they decided to make.
They will manipulate this ‘silence’ in a variety of ways….
Threats to the victim.
Shaming the victim.
Lies about the victim. Including lying by omission, lying by failing to tell the truth to others who wrongly believe/assume something about the victim.
Gaslighting – making the victim not believe their own truth, confusing them.
Blaming the victim.
Emotional abuse – eg saying the family will suffer.
A smear campaign about the victim, making more people (apaths), not believe the victim, reinforcing wrong beliefs about the victim.
Scapegoating, the victim.
Saying the victim is crazy
Deliberately targeting a victim, who others are unlikely to believe.
Alienation, from family, group, church etc.
Making the victim feel sorry for the abuser.
Minimizing, the abuse they made the victim endure.
There are more. This is not an exhaustive list.
None of these mean – that the abuser is right.
None of these mean – the victim needs to stay quiet.
None of these mean – the victim is to blame, or guilty.
None of these mean – the victim needs to do what the abuser wants.
None of these mean – the victim, has to feel sorry for the abuser.
It is all a manipulation, for the benefit of the abuser.
Because the ‘abuser’ is the weak, shameful, guilty, wrong, abusive person, who lacks the courage, or capacity, to own who they really are.
It takes time, to work this out and process it.
But, it is needed, as part of healing.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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