Something I have learned, that many people that do not have PTSD, would not understand.
I have forgiven my abusers, and that does not mean I think everyone has to, and my definition of forgiveness is not what many believe it is.
But, I don’t hate them, I don’t wish bad things on them, I don’t want revenge, I don’t want an apology, and as I am a Christian – I have given their fate to God, completely. That is all the extent of forgiveness I need with abusers.
But, PTSD is not about un-forgiveness.
PTSD does not suddenly disappear because of forgiveness.
PTSD is neurological, biological and physical changes in the brain, due to severe trauma. It is not a reduction in intelligence, or that you are crazy.
I am aware that my counsellor and doctor would not be encouraging me to become a counsellor, if I was crazy, lacked in intelligence, had poor mental health, was someone who was in denial etc.
PTSD needs to be healed, as much as is possible, however long that takes, and is not going to suddenly all be fixed, if the sufferer decides to forgive.
Forgiveness, for those who choose this, does help create peace and it definitely helps.
But, it does not mean that the brain suddenly starts acting differently.
I have forgiven my abusers, and I know they cannot hurt me anymore. But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions, nightmares, fear, anxiety, emotional flashbacks and hypervigilance etc due to them and the abuse.
Today, I could have potentially bumped into an narc abuser and his narc wife, and they have caused me considerable pain, suffering and nearly destroyed me completely. Continue reading