Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I will be very clear – I have so little faith, or trust in Christianity in general.


I see the way certain things get handled – like child sex abuse, where only fraction of what has gone on – is being exposed. And how they only care ‘now’, because they fucking have to be seen to care, but they don’t really – it’s all fake tears and bullshit, to try and salvage some of their reputation.

I see many of the victims having tried for decades to get the ‘church’ to deal with, and they all failed – too scared of their reputation, and possible financial consequences, in compensation claims.


I been on the receiving end of abuse within Christianity, not as a child, but as an adult, and it devastated me, so I can only begin to imagine how all the child abuse victims feel. The ones that haven’t killed themselves over it. And the abuse I endured, was dealt with pathetically too and I know other abusive ministers within that denomination and area are being protected and enabled.

Christianity, is a breeding ground for abusers and narcissists.

Cheap grace, lack of humanity and weak people following like sheep, is all too prominent in Christianity.

I have very little faith.

Especially when I hear all church’s should have a policy in place for convicted sex offenders, to be able to attend church. And no doubt their ‘crimes’ will be kept confidential, so the ‘flock’ won’t find out.

Well, I’m sure that is great for the sex offender, but what about the safety of children who attend, or the women?

There is a continual push in society and in Christianity, to care more about the rights of those who harm others, than the victims, or potential victims.

If I find out the church I attend, has one of these ‘sex offender protection ‘policies, we won’t be going anymore.

I care about my children’s safety – even if stupid Christians don’t. My children won’t become another child sex abuse statistic that the church hierarchy try to cover up and ignore.

And if Christians are getting all this, so wrong – they are also going to be screwing everything else up too.

And yes, there is a lot of good stuff happening too – but that doesn’t cancel out, or minimize, how much many are screwing up the really important stuff.

I just look at people in general and think ‘what the fuck are you thinking?’

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “I will be very clear – I have so little faith, or trust in Christianity in general.

  1. I’ve said this before but it bears repeating: the problems with religion aren’t about the faith, it’s about the human infrastructures designed for control. All efforts to control another human being is flawed, in whatever form they may take.

  2. I heard a quote once that I cannot seem to locate again, it goes something along the lines of “You cannot judge a thing by its abuses.” There are people who claim to be Christians, but are not. There are a LOT of thing wrong in the church, and within Christianity, yes. If you feel unsafe at church that is a problem. I hope that you can find a place to worship and connect with some true believers who will just love you right where you are with the love of Christ, where your family can grow spiritually together in a safe, healthy way.

  3. Yup. I completely get what you’re saying. It’s near impossible to find a church these days where you can feel safe, from my experience. I don’t even know if the religious institutions are any part of what we think of as a real church anymore. I was crying my heart out to God a couple years ago and the word “Ecclesia” came to mind….

  4. I don’t feel safe within Christianity – as in organised religion.
    I love Jesus and I know His character and His love – but Christianity is seriously fucked up and will continue to get worse, as per the bible.
    I see all the abuse and the twisted ways many abuse ‘grace’ and ‘forgiveness’ etc.
    I’ve already been on the end of abuse by a minister/church/cult and know how badly that was dealt with and how deeply all that hurt and the ongoing consequences.
    I’m aware, this is not just that church, it’s Christianity wide and not many seem to care at all.
    I don’t feel safe anywhere, anymore.
    I know to much and it is dark and depressing and I hate it.