Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

‘Safe harbour’ – this mermaid would rather stay out in deep waters.

I have a new Facebook community page I set up, to try and have something, now I am housebound, that would bring positivity into my life, as my healing page, is all about trauma and abusers.

My mermaid page, is more about my whole personality, and reflects all the different things I think about and I don’t have to be careful of speaking of my faith.

Mermaids, have a connection to my past, I read a book I loved about one as a child, and I used to daydream often about being a mermaid – swimming away where no-one could find me and the dolphins and fish being my friends and I was happy. A typical ‘freedom’ day dream of an abused child.

I relate to being ‘a mermaid’ in many ways. They are afraid of humans, yet they want to save them – at a risk to themselves. They are different, they are often alone, not afraid of the depths and afraid shallow living, they seem fragile, but strong. They have endured storms and rough seas, and yet remain alive. Continue reading

Christinianty needs to stop being a safe habour for abusers…

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Christianity needs to stop putting the rights of adult abusers, before the right and protection, of vulnerable people, especially children.

If the Royal Commission has shown anything….it has shown just how immorally and disgustingly badly Christianity deals with abuse committed by adult abusers within it’s church’s and denominations.


It’s a sick world when…..

I am so sick of living in society and seeing Christianity, perpetuate this crap, that the victims of abuse have to act better and behave better after being abused, far more than the abusers.

There is so much pressure put on victims, to get over the abuse, move on, stop dwelling, forgive quicker blah blah blah……

And you’re deemed to be a failure, a crap Christian if you don’t.

And then the abusers aren’t made to deal with the consequences of the harm they caused at all and do-gooders feel sorry for them, and want society to believe they are remorseful, and that they won’t do it again, and let them off basically with little or no consequences, and little or no justice.

Someone here, wrote a comment that a church had a picture of a known sex offender – who had been abusing kids within a youth group, on their ‘wall of fame’ and when questioned whether this photo was appropriate, was told ‘well if he repented….’. Continue reading


Life preserving need, to completely withdraw.

God knows how honest we are being and He knows how honest I am.

I’ve told God, I don’t want to carry my load anymore. I’ve had enough. I’m too tired, too exhausted, too sick of dealing with it all.

I’m at the point where I can’t leave my house, without being deeply anxious.

I do school runs, because I have to, and that is it.

I manage my anxiety behaviour and emotions while out of my home, which apparently is a good thing. But, it comes out in hives and my body is reacting to the fact that I have to suppress how I feel when I am out of the house.

I’m not a perfect person, but I don’t deserve this.

I don’t deserve to have had so many people hurt me.

I don’t deserve to be so scared of humanity, and it’s evil capabilities, that I can’t leave my home. Continue reading