Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It’s a sick world when…..


I am so sick of living in society and seeing Christianity, perpetuate this crap, that the victims of abuse have to act better and behave better after being abused, far more than the abusers.

There is so much pressure put on victims, to get over the abuse, move on, stop dwelling, forgive quicker blah blah blah……

And you’re deemed to be a failure, a crap Christian if you don’t.

And then the abusers aren’t made to deal with the consequences of the harm they caused at all and do-gooders feel sorry for them, and want society to believe they are remorseful, and that they won’t do it again, and let them off basically with little or no consequences, and little or no justice.

Someone here, wrote a comment that a church had a picture of a known sex offender – who had been abusing kids within a youth group, on their ‘wall of fame’ and when questioned whether this photo was appropriate, was told ‘well if he repented….’.

It is a sick world we live in, where abusers are said to have repented with barely a ‘sorry’ or even a complete denial and victims of abuse are re-traumatised by being told they are not getting over it quick enough, not forgiving enough, not showing grace.

What a pile of crap.

Cheap grace is such a lovely concept for so many Christians. I’ve seen it happen.

An abuser, pathological, narcissistic liar, angrily stated a false apology, whilst also showing rage and calling the victim demonic, and he ‘gets away with it’. No-one cares that he hurt the victim badly. He said sorry didn’t he…..

Pathetic. That’s not repentance.

And Christianity without true, full repentance is not of God. It’s fake, weak, bullshit that continues to harm people.

And most people, really do not give a shit.

Who cares about the victims……

Just tell them to forgive and get over it or they are a bad person.

And mollycoddle the abuser, because the abuser is the one who needs all the help and support of course….

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

10 thoughts on “It’s a sick world when…..

  1. And the abuser can sleep peacefully at night.

  2. I care about the victims. As you said in another entry, forgiveness is a process. It takes time. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a negative experience with the church, after all you’ve already been through.

    • Thank you. The church experience I had, was very damaging, particularly as I was already struggling so badly with my PTSD and depression being so severe. It was very cruel what happened.

      And I have forgiven them, but forgiveness does not mean I have to be okay with what goes on and the way victims are treated. Forgiveness is not about condoning, or ignoring or minimizing the abuse and what goes on that is wrong. Forgiveness for abusers, is not hating them, not wanting retribution and leaving their fate with God.

      Christianity deals with abuse very badly and I am not okay with that and I will continue to raise this as an a huge problem.

      As a Christian, I feel it is my role to hate evil and not want it enabled and condoned.

  3. Reblogged this on Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD and commented:

    I still stand by how wrong this is.
    Victims of abuse are expected to behave perfectly after they abuse they endure……get over it, forgive, not be angry, not voice their disgust, not say abuse is evil…
    While the abusers, are mollycoddled, excused, their abuse minimized, no remorse, no repentance, no truth, no honesty…
    This is the sick, unhealthy society….in which we exist.

  4. All Victims need a safe refuge, accepting and free from judgement. not somewhere that will make them feel worse. My experiences with the church have been mostly bad, I was certainly viewed as being the one to blame, and worse that I had some sort of problem, like I was crazy. Not nice. I stay away now.

    Im highly suspect of this being like a collective narcissism with victims seen as supply. I’m generalizing of course.

    • Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. Friedrich Nietzsche

      I mostly keep myself to myself now 🙂

  5. As usual I find your blog entries very helpful and encouraging. I don’t feel so alone anymore. Once again I totally agree with you. In my case it was since the perpretrator was my “father” (a disgrace to the name to be more precise), whom I loved very much I was the first one to “cuddle” him and totally agreed that he needed help, find him excuses and emphathise with his suffuring.

    This is so depressing and so filthy. What a waste of time, love and energy that I should better have focused on myself (if only I deemed me worthy…).

    • I am so sorry you endured abuse from your father. It always saddens me greatly to know of abuse from someone’s own parents. It is such a profound betrayal and causes such painful wounds.

      I made excuses for my mother, could not acknowledge the abuse fully for a very long time and have only over the last few months, fully come to understand the extent of the abuse.

      I do believe abusers need help, but their abuse should not be justified in any way. It is still choices they made. I do not have to be the one helping any of my abusers. I need their toxic out of my life.

      I agree, we need to focus on ourselves and healing and finding our inner joy and move along the healing journey towards a life with more inner peace, which takes time and there is no time limit on.

      We do deserve to have a good life, and be happy and have joy.

      Much love and healing wanted for you and everyone affected by abuse and trauma.

      Lilly ❤