Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I identify with Charlotte Dawson’s character and soul.

So much about Charlotte Dawson’s character and soul, I identify with.

She was opinionated, very honest, willing to be completely upfront about her life, compassionate and wanting to help others, funny, when she was up – she was up, when she was down, is was a terribly dark, desperate place to be.

A tweet about her death sums her up “Troubled. Funny. Opinionated. Wry. Clever. Beautiful. Passionate. Wanting to b loved. That’s the Charlotte Dawson many of us knew. Rest now.”

And this is me – without the fame/celebrity part and she is obviously physically beautiful, she was a model and I am not.

She used her depression, celebrity and the cyber bullying, to raise awareness to help others. She didn’t keep it to herself – because she wanted others to not suffer and wanted to help others. Her compassion, is so obvious and her empathy was deep – although all those apaths – 60% of the population – will not understand this. I do.

She was a troubled woman, struggling, fighting for her life, and she couldn’t keep fighting any longer.

She was brave, courageous, honest, open, compassionate, wanted to be loved, deeply affected by the cruelty of others, not able to shake that off like all the apaths in the world would.

When you feel everything on a deeper level – you hurt on a deeper level, you are affected by the harm, and cruelty of others – on a far deeper level and most people will not understand this, but I do.

The internet and social media was not a safe place for Charlotte, and I wish she had not continued using it. I wish she had stepped away from celebrity and everything that goes with it.

It’s very interesting, that I decided to take myself off all social media, just before all this came out about Charlotte Dawson’s death and now it is like a huge validation, of my need to do this.

Her social media use was different to mine because she was a celebrity, but the harm it causes is the same. Having people be cruel – either with their cruel comments, which I have had too, and by people’s lack of action – ignoring me when I am in pain, having no empathy, is also cruel.

I was thinking last night, that I feel like telling everyone I know….

“If I do ever commit suicide – don’t come to my funeral. If you couldn’t be there for me when I was alive and struggling and in pain, don’t be a hypocrite and turn up at my funeral to feel good for yourself. You didn’t care or want to help me when I was alive, don’t you dare pretend to care when I am dead.”

Sounds harsh, maybe. But, it’s the truth.

Apathatic and narcissistic people, are weak, selfish, self centred, two faced, lack empathy, shallow, uncaring, ‘all about me’, non genuine, self serving people, who want easy lives, and I have no respect for them.

And they make up 60% or more, of the population.

People like Charlotte Dawson, I do respect. She was honest, bold, opinionated, compassionate, cared about her friends, loved people, still loved her ex even though he hurt her so deeply, wanted to help others, campaigned for people who needed help.

I have deep respect for her.

The world lost a good person, when the pain became more than she could endure.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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