Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Weird to focus on me..

I don’t do well focussing on me, but now I am off social media, I have so much more time….

So, today I am going in the pool, do some swimming, get some Vitamin D, maybe read in the sun, for a while.

Then I am getting my butt in my craft room, tidy it up and maybe do some organizing in there. I have material sat there waiting to made into dresses, skirts and tops.

Listen to some music while I am messing around in my craft room, now that my internet has been upgraded, to more download then I could ever use.

I realise, as I write this, that I am very blessed to have this situation in my life. A life, that whilst it can become very dark, very lonely and very painful…..is a life that also enables me to have time to myself, not have to work, rest when I need to and have a pool, craft room etc. Continue reading

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Psychologists state “Online trolls are psychopaths and sadists”


I have long believed that online trolls that deliberately choose (premeditated), to cause harm to others, are sociopaths, because it is planned, it is meant to cause harm, they do have complete disrespect for any humanity, have no conscience and want to cause harm to the person.

And it is well documented how mental and emotional abuse can often cause far greater harm than physical abuse.

I had a recent onslaught of abuse on my healing community page, which I have now closed down for a while. One man was highly abusive, including an onslaught of abusive language telling me to F*** Off, and another immediate comment where he stated he would ‘catch me and eat my heart raw and barbecue the rest’.

This was in response to me posting a quote that stated children and women’s protection from abuse and domestic violence needed increasing and be a priority.

This man’s comments to me, are from the mind of a highly sociopathic/psychopathic mind – to even think these types of thoughts, let alone write them on someone social media. And this isn’t the first time I have had such disturbing comments and abuse directed personally at me.

When you already low and feeling close to being suicidal, this can push you over the edge.

Abusive comments that occur on social media – such as this kind of abuse and even more so – the ones inciting suicide or death threats, as the late Charlotte Dawson received – need laws meaning these abusers can be found and dealt with under law, with suitable consequences.

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SOCIETY needs to start TALKING appropriately about SUICIDE, and that it is NOT weakness…

I read this article and I agree this needs to be discussed, openly, appropriately.

Good, strong people commit suicide, because the pain and hopelessness of living, becomes greater than their capacity to bear.

The fact they lived so long, battling it – is a massive testimony to their strength, not weakness.


Exerts from this article…

Charlotte Dawson was found dead in her home in Woolloomooloo on Saturday.

What is it about that wording that is so unsettling? Charlotte Dawson struggled for many years with depression and, most recently, was hospitalised after being hounded by internet trolls. She then came out in a TV interview as suicidal, after which she began actively and vocally engaging with some of those who bullied her online. She was a brave, passionate, driven woman whose life over the past few years was difficult, to say the least.

She was harried by depression, hounded by bullies, and buffeted by career changes which would leave anyone vulnerable, let alone someone with real, genuine mental health problems. She attacked her issues head on, and the press is buzzing with speculation about what led her to where she ended up. What heady, horrible cocktail of circumstances and misfortunes pushed her.

But no news outlet I’ve seen has addressed the real problem here.

Charlotte Dawson committed suicide.

There. I said it. She committed suicide. Continue reading

I knew some Christians would ‘need’ to talk about abortion, in relation to Charlotte Dawson’s death.


I knew this was coming.

Some Christians, will use the abortion she bravely admits to having and admits was the cause of the start of her depression, as the blame for her death.

There will be cruel ‘Christians’ who will say she deserved to suffer and die, because she had an abortion.

Well, I hate to burst anyone’s ego bubble…..only God can judge that.

But some people, will continue to bully and abuse her, even after her death.

It’s so pathetic that Christians seem to continually want to harp on about what they consider to be the ‘greater sins’ – being gay and abortion, because they believe those are sins that they would never commit, so feel safe to condemn others, as a result. Continue reading

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Polar opposites of how Christianity views murderers, paedophiles, sex offenders, abuse….

I see quite clearly how there are polarising views within society, and within Christianity.

It’s interesting how humans tend to over-react and have extreme behaviours, ways to tackling issues and views.

You see these, with the hard line, right wing, often abusive Christians, and then the opposite left wing impotent ‘anything goes’ Christians. Neither of which, is of God.

Some Christians, believe in the death penalty and believe that is Biblical and of God. They believe convicted murderers, paedophiles should not be languishing in prison, at our expense, and they should receive the death penalty. I have spoken with Christians, who believe in this.

I disagree with this and don’t see any grace or mercy in this and I do not believe anyone, should not have the remainder of their natural life, to have repentance, which should not be about ‘getting out of prison’, it should be about the ‘real’ reason for repentance. I believe they should remain in prison. If they are let out of prison, then they should be able to live their lives, but in a constricted manner, not be allowed where there are children present, including libraries, church’s, parks etc, but live without harassment, I don’t agree with vigilante groups etc.

Some Christians, believe in the opposite of this and they should be given free reign to live normally, once they have ‘repented’, including paedophiles being allowed in Church’s, with the onus on people to ensure adequate supervision. Twisted, compassion and grace gone too far the other way, resulting in allowing further abuse to occur and offenders ‘getting away with it’. Continue reading

Justice will not be served…..


This is the problem with apathy, and narcissism, it enables injustice and suffering to continue.

And apathy and narcissism, are increasing and will continue to.

Which means, there will be less and less justice, and increased harm and suffering in this world.

Which makes me very sad and I grieve this understanding.


It’s weird, but good, and safer, not being on facebook…

I have spent a lot time on Facebook, both with my healing community page and my own personal account, plus the new page I set up.

I do miss them, I miss the connecting with people, I miss helping people, I miss being able to make encouraging comments and if people I know are unwell, or stressed, to offer kind words.

It is interesting how much I have done that for others, and how little I received back, particularly when my situation became very severe and everyone ignores that.

It’s so true what I read about your average person validating and dramatizing normal life experiences as though they are huge, and ignoring and minimizing real suffering. it’s the way of humanity with weak characters, with no empathy and little capacity to do what’s needed. Continue reading