Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I hate nightmares

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You would think, after more than 3 decades of nightmares, that I would be used to them by now.

But, they are still horrendous.

Some of them are repeating ones, some are exact re-experiencing of abuse, some are about the abuse/abusers.

It’s hard enough to have gone through all this, without having to re-experience it. It feels so cruel.


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Poem – Strength Slipping Away

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Staring out the window
To a life she cannot risk
She no longer wants to belong
She tried for too long

Never ending healing journey
Draining, exhausting
Into the core of her soul
A fail old woman resides

Limping feebly each day
Capacity decreasing
Darkness always threatening
Just under the surface

Constant battle to contain
The darkness of pain
Forcing it back
To make it through Continue reading


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I understand those suffering, who have real empathy, often want to help others the most.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/tragic-charlotte-dawson-supported-fiona-oloughlin-through-tough-times-comedian-reveals/story-e6frfmyi-1226838599324

It is reported that Charlotte Dawson, reached out to someone struggling with depression, just two weeks before she took her own life. This doesn’t surprise me, her empathy is obvious in many things she did. Many who knew her, said she was always helping people, always supporting people, always ready to give anything to help others.

Knowing suffering, and trauma, abuse, depression – can make you have great empathy for others and truly and deeply want not one to suffer and to not suffer alone. Empathy and an understanding of the pain, can be the greatest support and validation another person can receive.

I know when my healing community page was up and running for over a year, the posts I would write, were so raw and real, that other survivors related to them deeply, related to the honesty, related to the expression of the emotions, fears, the journey and provided a greater depth of understanding, than mental health professionals will have, if they have no personal experience of suffering.

There is greater validation, from someone who personal understands. No-one can understand the depths of being suicidal, of deep and prolonged fear, the darkness of deep shame, unless they have endured it. Continue reading


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Castro victims honoured with courage awards!

castro victims award

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2567222/No-one-rescued-They-rescued-Cleveland-House-Horrors-survivors-honored-award-ceremony-two-minutes-standing-ovation.html

I was in tears reading this. I am SO thankful their courage and bravery has been recognised.

The 3 women who were tortured by this sadistic psychopath for 10 years, endured more than anyone could ever imagine, unless they have endured it, or anything remotely similar. Continue reading


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Mental health issues, missed by doctors, in most suicides.

http://health.ninemsn.com.au/family/womenshealth/8805233/mental-health-issues-missed-by-doctors-in-most-suicides

There will be a number for factors, for this, not all being the responsibility of the doctors.

But, mental health, is not given the priority it should be, there is stigma even within the mental health profession itself, let alone outside of that.

My advice is for people to seek help, sooner, rather than later.

Mental health is still a taboo subject people don’t want to discuss or try to understand. And for those suffering – the stigma and avoidance that results, is something I know all too well.


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Suicide is very real, should not be ignored, or dismissed as weakness, or selfishness.

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It is very upsetting, to see how much of the general public’s reaction, to the recent suicide of Charlotte Dawson, has been so negative, re-traumatizing, shame inducing, lacking any empathy, condemning, deeply hurtful and completely wrong.

All based upon lack of education, biased opinions, lack of empathy and so many people believe they are entitled to have an opinion, about something they haven’t experienced.

Just what I have seen on the news alone on the internet, is bad enough. I am glad I am not on social media, because I would be deeply upset to see more of these horrible reactions, particularly if it was anyone I knew.

I was thankful, to see this, which highlights, how a strong, mature, intelligent woman, can become suicidal, due to PTSD from childhood abuse. Tracie O’Keefe is very brave to speak up publicly about her own battles with suicide, and I thank her for that. As well as all her work as a therapist, to help people down off that ledge.

http://health.ninemsn.com.au/healthnews/8805896/what-do-i-do-if-i-want-to-kill-myself

Having done so much research, been suicidal myself many times, I am very aware of how it feels to get to the point, where life becomes too painful, to endure. Continue reading