Sometimes, I literally have to force myself to think about what I do have in my life that is good, because I do have good.
Having severe depression, can make it almost impossible to look at the good, but, I know having a grateful heart, makes me feel better.
I seem to spend a lot of time, apologising to God, for not being grateful enough for what I do have. I know He understands. He knows I have never acted the victim and always tried to see life as joyful. He knows what I have been through and how none of this, is what I want.
And it okay, to be sad about so much abuse and pain the huge consequences of that, I deal with daily. It is okay to feel sad, to feel self sorrow, to admit being exhausted and depressed.
But, I do try hard when I visit ‘deepdepressionsville’, to not unpack and stay there too long.
This afternoon, I am focussing on my beautiful boys, my helpful husband, the beautiful weather, our lovely pool and praise God for all that.