Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Society demands everything fast paced….including healing from severe complex trauma.


Society, re-traumatizes people suffering from complex trauma, by demanding they heal fast.

Society where I live in a developed country – demands everything to be fast, rushed, immediate.

It is seen as weakness, if you take your time at anything, in a society of fast paced life, that is based upon success.

Doing things quickly, multi-tasking, all seen to be signs of strength.

This includes healing – from everything – relationship breakdown, grief, abuse, forgiveness etc.

Society tells you to move on, get over it, don’t look back, focus on the positive, chin up, don’t dwell, don’t have emotions.

Having intense emotions and grieving seems to be something society cannot tolerate or handle anymore. It allows you a certain time period and then any longer and you are criticised for dwelling, not being strong, attention seeking, deliberate refusal to move forward.

Society is cruel. It expects little emotions, and a fast paced healing and grieving process, in the same way everything else is deemed to be strength, when it is fast. Continue reading

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Why do you blog Mum?


This was a question, my son asked me.

It is a question with many answers and reasons.

The biggest reason, is if I didn’t, I would probably go mad.

It is a way I release many thoughts, assessing, views, everything I never said, for the first 4 decades of my life, plus all I am learning a rapid rate, now.

I have 4 decades of difficult life experiences, I was never allowed to discuss, or not able to, because no-one I knew, had a life like mine. I was also too scared to ‘go there’ about my past and was suppressing it all, to cope and I had no support.

I suppressed it all, and tried, to get on with life, like all around me. Until the suppression became impossible and over a period of a few years, prior to my diagnosis in 2012, I was battling to keep the nightmares, intrusive memories, anxiety, insomnia and declining coping capacity – from increasing.

In 2012, I reached crisis point, with a breakdown, that terrified me, to the point where I thought I was dying.

Since starting counselling, I have needed to express and speak of everything I ever saw, felt, endured, watched, heard, and assessed with my hypervigilant brain, for 4 decades. Continue reading

‘No-one needs medication if they have PTSD, I didn’t need it’….Why this is wrong!

If I hadn’t agreed to take medications for PTSD and Depression, I would probably not be here.
Since this blog, I have reduced my medications down to just Effexor daily, and I take Seroquel (low dose 50mg’s), when needed, which is very infrequently.
I do intend to reduce the Effexor slowly to come off it, when the time is right.
PTSD is a continuum, and it can be very severe and very life threatening, in just the same way as cancer is.
If I had cancer, I would take treatment – medical treatment.
It is no different for mental health illnesses.
I wish people would stop shaming people about taking prescribed medications for severe mental health illnesses.
They may not be needed by some, they may not suit some, but they are very much needed by some.
So, please don’t judge.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I hear this and it really irritates me. People love to sweep everything into one little box and assume everyone is the same and reacts the same and needs the same.

Severe PTSD has suicide attempt rates that are three times higher than for Major Depressive Disorder, and often survivors have both, as they commonly co-occur.

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It takes true compassion and empathy, to help those with real suffering.


Most of society, only has a level of sympathy relative to their own understanding and personal experiences.

Real compassion and empathy, for ‘real’ suffering, is not common.

Child Exposure.

I ensure my children are protected from this.

A child’s innocence, is needed for their emotional and psychological development and is their right.

A parent’s job also includes, ensuring their innocence is protected.


What is neglect? Can exposing children to video games and T.V shows after the watershed be described as abuse? A discussion at work today has left me thinking. Of course it can.

Grand Theft Auto 5 is a prime example. I have heard children talk incessantly about this game. Not only is it not age-appropriate but it is alarmingly explicit and violent too. It is notorious for it’s high levels of violence, sex and language. It is clearly NOT for children. Yet, children are exposed to games like this daily in the UK and around the world.

Coming from a background in where a man (my father) hated, ridiculed and abused women, it is so disturbing to see that this game shows all women that feature in it in an incredibly derogatory light. Women are seen as prostitutes, strippers, moaning wives, dumb girlfriends. Women are not seen as powerful figures…

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Forced myself to go out today and it went well and I am so thankful!


After all the research I did (and tears) about the desperately poor people in Nepal, the street children, and all their suffering…

I decided to get dressed and go out. On my own. To the shops.

I haven’t done this for a while now, due to my fear of going out, so it was an effort, but all the while, I had these images in my head of these beautiful street children in Nepal, sick, hungry, malnourished, suffering and the daily need they have to try and scavenge, or beg for food, to survive.

It motivated me considerably.

So went to the shops to buy a few things needed, like pyjama’s for my eldest son – who has completely outgrown and outworn his, and a journal I will be using for my Gratitude Journal, I am starting. Continue reading


Bill Gates, using his billions, to help the poor.

I didn’t know Bill Gates was a Christian. So good to see rich Christians, realising their wealth, is meant for helping others.

I knew he had given in excess of $20 billion, to charities, but I found this article really wonderful to read, to see how much he wants to do, to help those in need.

He wants to eradicate polio, and lets face it, if anyone can – it is someone like Bill Gates, with the drive and capacity to succeed, he has.



Children really suffering, on the streets of Nepal. Suffering I can’t even imagine.

A Nepalese street child sleeps on Thamel street


Doing some research on street children in Nepal, is so heartbreaking.

These children, already on the street due to either abuse, running away from orphanages, violence at home, losing parents to illness & HIV, and end up on the streets, with no-one except each other.

They are considered scum by their society, they are hated, abused and tortured by the police and trust no-one.

This breaks my heart. No child should ever have to live a life like this. Especially when you consider all the wealth in the world, in rich countries. Continue reading