Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Abuse related nightmares/dreams, don’t get any less painful.


I know things are bad when my nightmares get regular and they never get any less painful.

I have two types of trauma related dreams. Nightmares about exact things that happened. They are ones are wake from terrified. I also have dreams related to trauma that have things that I know did not occur.

The poem I wrote last night is one of many ongoing nightmares.

I also have dreams that are about things that I am stressed and have fear about now, that are connected to abuse.

All of these have increased again lately.

The stress/fear related ones lately have been pretty representative of my current fears and stress/anxiety.

One being at the counselling centre and having a very dodgy looking man sitting near me, staring at me and he looks very like the paedophile that abused me as a child. And I know this is because my doctor told me she counsels sex offenders who abuse children. And that’s her job. But, I have very complicated emotions about all that. Continue reading


Poem – Ropes, Knives, Fear & Pain.

***Warning*** – this poem is about captivity abuse and rape by a sadistic psychopath I endured, for several years, when I was a teenager, and he was 25 years older.

This poem does describe rape and the role he made me play.

So viewer caution required.


Continue reading

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No jail time for sex offenders and repeat offenders – even when they plead guilty.



This makes me really angry. Really really angry.

This is disgusting and there must be a lot of people with ‘reasons’ to be letting all these sex offenders and paedophiles off with no jail time.

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Derryn Hinch received harsher jail time – than many REPEAT paedophiles & sex offenders.

Wow, we live in a SCREWED UP SOCIETY where Derryn Hinch – who is campaigning for sex offenders to be publicly registered and wants to improve the safety of people from these repeat offending, cannot be rehabilitated child abusers, paedophiles, and sex offenders…..gets harsher jail time, than child abusers and sex offenders.


Un-fucking believable!!!

I HATE that we live in a society, where people who are attempting to make a safer place for children in particular, are deemed to be criminals, and those sick bastards who rape and sexually assault children, are let off with little or NO jail time.

Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick.

There are a LOT of very sick people in charge of these legal decisions.

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Music, Triggers, Memories and Emotions…

I just heard this on the TV and wow, big load of memories, of emotions and feelings.

I listened to this a lot.

I love Bjork’s voice, emotion and her quirkiness.

Wow, this sure brings stuff back.

“Play Dead”

darling stop confusing me
with your wishful thinking
hopeful embraces
don’t you understand? Continue reading

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Happy music – can make you feel happy!

My boys love this song, which I believe is No1 in the charts here.

Watching them dancing and singing to this, makes me happy!

I am very sensitive to music – always have been. It’s an empath thing.

My mood can be changed by music.

But, seeing my boys happy is my greatest form of happiness.

Nice that this song is actually appropriate for children too.

Thank you God!