I know things are bad when my nightmares get regular and they never get any less painful.
I have two types of trauma related dreams. Nightmares about exact things that happened. They are ones are wake from terrified. I also have dreams related to trauma that have things that I know did not occur.
The poem I wrote last night is one of many ongoing nightmares.
I also have dreams that are about things that I am stressed and have fear about now, that are connected to abuse.
All of these have increased again lately.
The stress/fear related ones lately have been pretty representative of my current fears and stress/anxiety.
One being at the counselling centre and having a very dodgy looking man sitting near me, staring at me and he looks very like the paedophile that abused me as a child. And I know this is because my doctor told me she counsels sex offenders who abuse children. And that’s her job. But, I have very complicated emotions about all that. Continue reading