Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Toughening up emotionally, is what I need, and gone are my people pleasing days.


toughen up

All my life, I’ve kept my mouth shut, rarely stood up for I know is right, walked on egg shells around people, rather than risk their rejection, and been a people pleaser.

Well, after the latest round of being ignored by people when I needed help, and hearing their excuses etc, taking a really hard look at people’s priorities in life, I have realised, I am on my own, with no-one to rely on, but Jesus.

I need to toughen up emotionally, and I am. Become more resilient.

If people don’t like what I have to say, tough – because to be fair, I don’t like society’s apathy and selfishness.

And I don’t force or even expect anyone to listen, or agree with me, I know most won’t. That’s okay.

If I was into people pleasing anymore, I wouldn’t post confrontational, challenging posts.

I posted an opinion on my FB today, and it was taken as a personal attack, which it was not meant at all, it was meant for society wide, including me. Now, I know this reaction was not about me, but because the truth hurts. But, I didn’t back down, explained a little more, and stood by my quote.

I’m aware I can be challenging, and thought provoking and I accept people will have various reactions, but I am okay with that now.

I am very passionate in what I believe in, and I am okay with that too. Passion for wanting the world to be a better place – is good. If people want to ignore it, that’s okay, that’s their choice, but apathy and avoiding the realities of life, will not be my weaknesses.

I have grown and learned far too much in life, and recognise the need to speak up, and voice those issues.

It is not my responsibility, as to how people react, or how they respond. If they don’t like it, okay. If they wants to avoid/ignore it, okay, If they want to think about it, great.

And I did achieve this healthy self esteem attitude today – praise God!!!

Nothing good was ever achieved in ease and comfort and the life of a true Christian, is never an easy one either.

I expect resentment, I expect negative reactions and I am getting better at dealing with that – especially now people’s self centred minds, have become all the more evident.

The reality is, we live in a highly ‘generation me’ society – and that applies to all ages. Rich society’s are becoming more and more entitled, less and less willing to own their behaviours and increasingly narcissistic and I for one – will not condone that, ignore that, or enable that.

I think the last major crash I had, has made me realise, my people pleasing days are O V E R, and my expectations of people are invariably far more than they are capable of. Although one friend did surprise me and I am so thankful for that! And I still remain compassionate and don’t tell them my thoughts. I let it go.

I need to toughen up – not in a become hard and bitter way, just ready and willing to say what is needed, and accept – without feeling hurt – that people can and will react negatively to that at times. I know this doesn’t make them bad people at all, just not as aware, or not willing to be aware, of the greater issues in this world.

And I know ‘the truth hurts’. And nothing makes someone more defensive – as the truth. I know this – because I see it in myself and have accepted this, and to grow from this.

I have courage and always have had – that has not been an issue. I am now growing in self esteem and capacity to not allow the behaviour of others, affect my mood.

More of my healing and growth, and that is good.

As growing and developing personally and spiritually – is important to me.

I will never be one of those limp, apathetic, mind-controlled, sheep like, quiet, wimpy, lets just love everyone, lets just ignore abuse, lets just do our good deeds, lets just dress the part, non swearing (such a sin) cookie cutter Christians, that are about as effective as a wet lettuce.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the name of the author – Lilly Hope Lucario and a clear link back to this blog –  https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/

This includes adaptations in all forms of media.

April 2016.

I love looking back and reflecting on my journey, from a few years back. Seeing how I addressed these issues of resilience, not being concerned about other people’s opinions and to focus on my self insight, growth and healing.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

3 thoughts on “Toughening up emotionally, is what I need, and gone are my people pleasing days.

  1. Couldn’t agree more! Really love your blog! We’re representing the same thing with our #JustBeCampaign Check it out at http://www.justbecampaign.com spread the word and help us get to America too!

    Thanks for the blog!🙂

    Sera and Frankie

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