Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I trust Jesus….only. Trust makes me way too vulnerable.

Trust is a huge issue, for survivors of complex trauma.

It is one of the worst issues, I have seen spoken of as being something not able to be ‘fixed’ with people who have endured prolonged severe abuse, particularly within childhood, by parents/care givers.

TRUST = VULNERABILITY + FEAR + DANGER, to the Complex PTSD brain.

When like me, you have had this fear of trust, being betrayed, repeatedly re-enforced, through adulthood too, the affect can be devastating and potentially life long.

I have tried to trust, many times and been hurt, over and over – by ALL the most important people within my life, for 30 years of my life – 3/4’s of my life.

That does not get fixed over night. It might take years, decades.

And considering all the abuse, alienation, lies, betrayal, I had within the last 2 years, from people I did trust and loved too – to add to a very long list of many, from birth = very strong views, that trust is not something, I should ever consider again. And this can be a survival need, for some.

For some, like me, trust leads to hurt that is too deep and the pain becomes so intense, it is life threatening and only those who understand a journey involving so many abusers, from birth, spread out over decades, will understand. Continue reading


Neuroscience confirms, pratice makes perfect.

practice-makes-perfect

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201403/neuroscientists-discover-how-practice-makes-perfect

I am a great believer in this.

Especially when it comes to practising PTSD management strategies, like breathing, mindfulness, grounding, safe place visualisation.

I had to practise these A LOT before I became any good at them, and I still struggle with mindfulness.

The brain needs to recognise these, as practised behaviours in order to be able to do them, in times of stress and anxiety.

It’s why I have always advised people, to practise them daily, but I have noticed, people don’t and only try them, when the situation is severe and then wonder why it wasn’t effective.

Practise, practise, practise.

It’s what my counsellor told me and I listened – hard – to everything and did what was required.


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Are You An Empath? Test

My results;

Your Total Score: 74 out of 80
Your Out of Control Healer Score: 10 out of 10
Your Protection Tools Score: 24 out of 25
How Much You Mirror Others Unconsciously Score: 13 out of 15
Your Appreciation for Nature Score: 9 out of 10

You scored extremely high on the overall results. You are definitely an empath.

You are highly intuitive and can almost always tell when people are lying. You may want to look into getting energy work and healing done on your second chakra. Usually people that need to be around water all the time have blocks in their second chakras. You love nature and unconsciously understand its healing effects — which is a general, but strong indicator that you are an empath. You like nature and love to experience it’s healing properties! But you have a gift for influencing the moods, energies, atmospheres, and environments around you.

You need to work on differentiating other people’s energy from yours. Learning how to run your energy will help. You scored fairly poor on the “Mirroring Others Unconsciously” portion of the quiz. It looks like you have a tendency to mirror other people and their energy. Your score indicates that you would benefit from learning to recognize your own energy and learning to run it through your body, rather than running your friend’s or family’s energy.

You scored extremely low on the “Has Protection Tools” section of the quiz. This means that your ability to protect yourself energetically is really bad. Your empathic abilities are causing you grief. You are no doubt an out of control healer and would benefit from energy healing, cord-removal, and visualization tools for releasing responsibility. You are a wonderful and loving person. You are also what is known as an “out of control healer!” You would benefit immensely from energy work and empathic tools for releasing guilt and responsibility.

http://www.empathtest.com/


Psychiatrists “the publics poor reaction to a serial paedophile, to blame for repeat sex offending”

What a fucking joke.

I seriously wonder about the mental health of many mental health professionals.

I know the suicide rate of psychiatrists, is high, and I wonder about the work they do, affecting their own minds and capacity to understand what is wisdom, what is right from wrong.


PEDOPHILE Mark Trevor Marshall has allegedly been caught with names and photos of children — and maps of suburbs — in his cell just weeks before a hearing about his potential release.

http://www.news.com.au/national/south-australia/photos-names-of-children-allegedly-found-in-cell-of-serial-sa-pedophile-mark-trevor-marshall/story-fnii5yv4-1226858436244

SA Police are investigating the source and nature of items allegedly discovered in the prison cell occupied by Marshall.

The Advertiser understands the material allegedly found in Marshall’s cell includes clippings from magazines featuring photographs of children.

It is further understood maps of suburbs were allegedly found in Marshall’s cell, along with other clippings listing the names and ages of children.

Marshall, 44, is due to face court again on April 1 as part of his continuing application to be released from custody.

Since 2011, the court has been considering the licence conditions under which Marshall can be released.

He has a history of sex offending dating back to June 1987 and has been jailed since 2009, when he was declared unwilling to control his urges.

In August, The Advertiser reported police concerns that Marshall had a “consistent” and “disturbing” lack of insight into his prior offending and the danger he poses.

In November, Marshall’s two psychiatrists warned a poor public reaction to his release could cause him to regress to the same “vulnerable” state that had preceded his prior offending .

They said the potential risk Marshall posed to the community was “acceptable” and “as good as it’s going to get”, and warned his release must happen “now or never”.

So the public need to be ‘nice to him’ – or he will re-offend.

This really does sum up exactly what is wrong with society.

Pathetic.

I wonder if those psychiatrists, would like to deal with this man’s next victims? That’s if they are alive.


Please sign this petition, to ask the Gov’t to increase access to mental health services.

This is an Australian petition, so for anyone in Australia please consider signing this.

http://www.change.org/petitions/australia-needs-better-access-to-psychological-treatment?recruiter=86364194&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition

The access to mental health services – via the public health, is already dangerously inadequate and the current Gov’t, want to reduce this further.

There is a massive injustice occurring where physical health is prioritised, and mental health takes a back seat.

It is very unfair, that the Government is willing to pay millions to fund sex offender rehab programs, that don’t work, and offer physical health treatment free to psychopaths and paedophiles….but won’t fund the counselling and mental health treatments – their victims require for health issues, not self inflicted. Continue reading


Deciding on book layout…

I have decided, that my book layout, might be good in the following layout;

Each page will have…

1) A Page Title – e.g.

“Appropriate Boundaries With Toxic & Abusive Family”

2) A quote I have written/will write about this subject. e.g

“The distance required, between you and toxic/abusive family, is directly ‘relative’, to the abuse they caused and continue to cause”

3) What I have written about this subject.

Post I wrote that many people resonated with……including still loving family, but from a very safe distance, which can be no contact if they continue with their toxic behaviour/abuse.

4) A Bible verse, that is applicable & meaningful to me, for this subject.

Psalm 1:1 ESV, Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers.

And this format/layout, could continue for each subject, that can be a page or two long.


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I’m going to start putting together a book…

I have been told countless times, received so many messages, that the posts I write, from my heart, many people with PTSD, or C-PTSD, or with a severe abuse history – relate to, and it helps them.

When I had my Facebook community page up and running for a year, the amount of people that resonated with my posts, and found they could understand themselves more, and were truly thankful for my posts, were significantly high.
keep-calm-and-write-a-book-15

I don’t want to write my autobiography, detailing my past – I can’t even talk about some of that, yet.

But, I have many saved copies of the most popular posts I have written, which are always those written straight from my heart and soul, with honesty and depth, that people in this journey, want to read.

So, I have decided to go through them, and figure out how to compile a book, with a page, or two, dedicated to each post and a heading.

Plus, I could add some of my poems, that are definitely not about literary ability, but less about how they are written and more about the content of them, and again how other relate to them – of which many have been described as powerful. Continue reading