Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Suicide – needs to stop being a taboo subject.



This is from this ^^^ link.

What happens when it hurts too much to live? Can it really be too painful to live one more moment with emptiness, depression, and despair? Yes, for some people suicide seems like the only way out.

Not every person who contemplates killing themselves is truly interested in ending their time on earth. For many, suicidal thoughts are about escape — musing about the idea of leaving the bonds that bind them to other people, responsibilities to burdens, and the despair of what they can’t change. If they could just escape it, maybe they still could go on somehow. Not right now, but after a while. They just need to get away from it.

Suicidal thoughts and actions are also sometimes paired with strong impulses and low inhibitions. This can happen with drugs and alcohol, bipolar disorder, or any personality style that leans more toward action than consideration. When a depressed or desperate mood gets legs, a person could be in real physical danger.

These are all fictional examples, but you can see how impulse plus mood problems can equal suicide.

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Things NOT to say to someone with a mental health illness, like PTSD.


1 “Get busy, and distract yourself.”

“With significant mental illness, [distractions] won’t work, not even temporarily,” Howes said. After a person slogs through various diversions, they’re still left with the same issues. “Ignoring the issue doesn’t make it go away.”

2. “Do you want to get better?”

For mental health blogger Therese Borchard, this was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to her. While she knows the person didn’t have ill intentions, it still had a powerful effect. “It implied that I was staying sick on purpose, and that I had no interest in pursuing health, not to mention that I was too lazy or disinterested to do what I needed to do to get better.”

3. “Change your attitude.”

While a change in perspective can be helpful, it doesn’t cure conditions such as ADHD, bipolar disorder, PTSD or schizophrenia, said Howes. And changing one’s attitude isn’t so easy either. “It’s incredibly difficult for a high-functioning person to change their attitude, let alone someone debilitated by an exhausting mental illness.”

4. “Stop focusing on the bad stuff, and just start living.”

According to Barth, “one of the most common mistakes is to tell a person to stop focusing on themselves, or on the bad things, or on the past, and just start living.” Why is this so problematic? It can make a person feel even worse about themselves. “[T]hey figure the fact that they can’t do it is, in their mind, just one more sign of their failure.”

5. “You have everything you need to get better.”

“This is well intentioned, but to me it sounded like an indictment against me for not trying hard enough,” said Borchard, also author of the book Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes. Plus, this might not even be accurate. Sometimes people don’t have everything they need to improve. “Sometimes you need a little assistance.”

6. “You can snap out of it. Everyone feels this way sometimes.”

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Reeva Steenkamp was murdered by a narcissistic sociopath

He certainly has all the hallmarks of a sociopath.

Love. Life. OM. Blog

Have you been following the Pistorius trial?

“I’m scared of you sometimes,” texted Reeva Steenkamp.

She and Pistorius had been out with friends just a couple of weeks prior to her murder. Pistorius forced them to leave the restaurant due to his delusional belief that Reeva was flirting with the husband of a friend.

“I was not flirting with anyone today, I feel sick that you suggested that,” she texted, adding, “We are living in a double-standard relationship. Every five seconds I hear you dated another chick.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I read these and thought about what could have been my fate. These texts are reminiscent of my own from that toxic life with the boy in my story.

As soon as news of Reeva’s murder made the news last Valentine’s Day 2013, I knew Pistorius had killed her in a sociopathic…

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I always vowed I would never become hardened….but you have to be.

harden up

I always vowed I wouldn’t become hardened by all that has happened to me, but the more I see around me, the more I learn, the more I know I cannot rely on anyone, the more I know how painfully I feel hurt caused by human behaviour, the more I know I have to toughen up. Be a lot harder than I am.

You cannot be soft in this world. You get eaten alive by people, or you withdraw and avoid. Typical empath life that I am not sure is healthy, and wish to change.

I need to not care what people think of me, and develop a ‘okay that’s your opinion and you are entitled to it, but I do not have to agree, or tolerate you in my life’.

I have realised most people will always do what they need to do for themselves, have little self insight and most people don’t understand themselves, let alone me.

In this sinful, abusive, egocentric, apathetic society I reside in, I have to not allow any of that to hurt me, bother me, but not ignore it either and do what I need to do, to help others, show compassion and to those who need it and leave the rest alone, to do what they want.

At some point I hope to find people who I relate to, people with passions like mine, people who care about important issues, people not scared to talk about taboo subjects, people who are willing to make life uncomfortable to do what’s needed, what’s right.

People with integrity. I need to be involved in charities, organisations dealing with child abuse, child protection – which is my goal. Find like minded people, to have meaningful, intelligent, non shallow conversation with.

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Symptoms Of Trauma & PTSD

When I first started in trauma counselling, my counsellor showed me this, and I remember thinking OMG, I have all those.

It was while I was still coming to terms with my recent PTSD diagnosis and it was very overwhelming.

It was months before I could fully accept – I have (Complex) PTSD.


Christianity – clean up your own backyard, before judging non Christians sins.

I just had to remind a conservative Christian, that we are not to judge non Christians, for what some Christians believe to be ‘worse’ sins – abortion. And the other favourite to be bullies about – being gay.

There is so much abuse within Christianity – how about Christians focus on discussing that?

It is so true that these hard line conservative Christian views, are being linked through neuroscience, with lower IQ, lower EQ and narcissism/sociopathy, egocentricity.

Christians – focus on Christianity’s issues okay.

Like abuse. Like child abuse. Like domestic abuse. Like physical abuse to children. Like narcissism. Like judgment. Like intolerance. Like not acting like Jesus. All abundant behaviours within Christianity.

And learn some Christian psychology and neuroscience.

Christianity really is a breeding ground for these hard line, conservative, non tolerant, abusive type people, who like to abuse the Bible – to make others feel bad.

I see so clearly how conservative Christianity breeds narcissists and sociopathic traits.

Complete the opposite of Jesus, in all ways.

Of course, they will demand that they are ‘keeping the truth to the Bible’ – and their restricted cognitive capacity, restricted empathy, restricted love capacity – will keep them within their ‘entitled’, very un-Christ like mentality.

I truly hate seeing Christ and His word, used to abuse and speak hatred, whilst they of course – ignore their own deep issues.