Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Which Professions Have the Most Psychopaths? The Fewest?

Interesting to see the careers that psychopaths are most drawn to. Interesting that my last abuser is a church minister, who prior to that was a police officer – both jobs he believes he is well suited to and had admitted he likes to ‘tell people what to do’.
He also has complete lack of empathy, is a pathological liar, highly manipulative and loves the spotlight and abused me, with no remorse and no guilt, just pure rage that I would ‘dare’ to expose him.


Music – a coping strategy my entire life, to deal with so much abuse.

I need music in my life, every day.

When no-one around me has understood me, cared about me, or been hurting me – music made me know – someone, somewhere understood what I was feeling, enduring.

Music was all I had at some points in my life.

A Poem About Living With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

A poem written by another PTSD survivor, I relate to.
Thank you.


I’m not in charge of my own emotions,
my minds consumed by terrible notions.
Love and laughter, hurt and pain,
each of these drives me insane.
I’ve talked to doctor after doctor
Taken Pill after pill,
yet none of this makes my mind tranquil.
Each and every breath I take,
I pray for this curse to break.
My torment came from my own volition,
leaving me in this terrible condition.
I could of simply said I won’t go.
I could of told the recruiter Hell NO!
But I swore an oath and took the test,
and won the uniform of the best.
I worked so hard to serve my country,
and all I’m left with is agony.
Some escape war without a scratch or scar,
but as for me my mind was stretched to far.
Now I’m labeled as one of them,
a causality of war that’s trapped within.

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Poem – She dances

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Sad Ballet

Ballet was my saving grace, while enduring child sexual abuse by an old man paedophile between for several years ending at age 12.

She Dances

In her garden
Of evil
Of gods and monsters
Evil presides
No safety
No protection
No rescue

Deep pain
Seared into
Her fragile soul
Unable to cope
Verbally suppressed
She dances

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Sometimes, you just outgrow people…maturity is not for everyone.

Social media, is awash with people talking about themselves, their needs, their uneducated, uninformed opinions, their biased, self serving views.

I used to watch a lot going on around me and just think ‘wow, really?’.

I knew a lot of human behaviour was not healthy, and I said very little, because I wasn’t informed, wasn’t educated about it. I just had that deep down awareness, that people often acted in ways that I did not think was okay.

I kept my mouth shut, because I don’t speak up unless I am well informed.

And for a long time, I believed this was me, I was the weird one, after all, many stated this was the case.

Now, having studied both through considerable life experience, and through making myself very educated and aware of psychology and the human sciences, I realise how much of that behaviour I knew was not ‘okay’ – I was right about.

Do I expect people to be perfect, absolutely not.

Do I understand why people act the way they do, yes.

Do I still love or like these people, yes.

Do I have to condone it, enable what I consider wrong, agree with it, no.

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