I have had a conversation with my husband about my funeral, if the worst happens.
I have accepted that I can feel so low, that I want to die. I pray I never will end my life, for my children’s sake. But, I am aware, I cannot guarantee this.
I am a realist. And I have suicide ideation. I think about dying and the relief from suffering.
And I am honest.
These are songs I want played all have significant meaning to me.
This song I have huge emotional attachment to. This version, not the Chris Tomlin version. God loves me and knows my pain, even when no-one else does. He knows I love Him.
This song is special and is one of a few songs that expresses my suicidal thoughts, connected with my past. And if I were to ever die by suicide, it would probably be in my car, as it’s how I think about dying.