Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Combat related PTSD too often turns into bullies, narcissists & domestic violence so common.

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There is a lot of research about combat related PTSD and how ex military are more prone to becoming violent, aggressive, narcissistic/sociopathic behaviours, and domestic violence is far too common with Combat PTSD.

(Please note – I am only referring to the abusive combat PTSD ex-military. I am very aware there are many who are not abusive, so this post, is not to be confused as a description of all being this way, at all).

Having received cyber bullying, harassment, along with others who were threatened, attacked, from a page from the founder;

Simon Buckden of ‘Positive Action For PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder’, who is ex military, I decided to do some research.

IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT THIS PAGE ^ ARE ALSO STALKING AND HARASSING ANOTHER UK PTSD PAGE

I have always been a huge supporter of ex military with PTSD receiving more support than they do, but in all reality no-one receives enough support for PTSD regardless of the reasons for it. And there are many more people with PTSD & Complex PTSD from abuse, and child abuse, than military.

There is also this notion by many combat PTSD sufferers, that combat is the only ‘real’ cause of PTSD and the worst. Which is absolutely rubbish and this is simply their ego and need to be victims. I have seen these attitudes on Combat PTSD sites.

There are also those who have non combat related PTSD – who believe that military ‘know’ the risks to their physical and mental health and are aware of what can occur – so it is their choice to risk this. Whereas, those who have PTSD from abuse – in no way had a ‘choice’ to be abused or end up with PTSD.

I personally, like to not have these opinions, and just feel compassion for anyone who has PTSD.

There is a lot of research to support that Combat PTSD sufferers, are more aggressive, violent, abusive, and there is far too much domestic violence occurring in their families – of which many spouses and children then end up abused and many have PTSD.

The stigma attached to PTSD – largely comes from all this abuse & violence within the military and how society views PTSD – as ‘a walking time bomb’ for being violent or murderers etc.

It is easy to see why they become more aggressive and violent – a combination of having been military trained for combat, some being narc/sociopathic type traits before they enter the military, alcohol and drugs issues, the shame of ‘big tough men’ getting PTSD and feeling like failures and feeling weak and their need to ‘be big tough men’ after the combat career has ended, to make up for their perceived failure in the military.

This shame and humiliation many feel about having Combat PTSD – leads them down paths of alcohol, drugs, narcissism, and sociopathic behaviours. Domestic violence being common.

And then there are some – I will use Simon Buckden as a perfect example – have to be the biggest and the best – due to his fragile ego and shame, he refers to being ‘bigger than other pages’ – like it is some kind of necessity and success to him that he is the best – to make up for his failure in military. ‘Mine’s bigger than yours’ being a highly immature trait. His fragile ego and deep inner shame, mean he is volatile when questioned, gets nasty, sarcastic and when people stand up to him, he becomes abusive, threatening and needs to puff up his chest and attack women on-line. Including tag-team bullying women with another mate. Maybe he has issues from his own mother-son relationship – to attack women, who knows. And he claims to care about people with PTSD. His PTSD NFP page – is simply a cover for his fragile ego and need to be the biggest and the best, because he is special. The raising awareness for PTSD – is actually self serving, and self motivated. Not for others, in the slightest.

Even his current partner, was scared enough to leave him….“But the anger was different,” Louisa says. “There was an incident in January 2013 when Simon kicked me out of bed in the middle of an angry outburst. As a child, I’d watched my mother’s partner physically abuse her, so when a man shows anger to me, I shut down.” Simon remembers the incident with clarity, but remembers, too, that he could do little to stop it: “When a PTSD hit [outburst] is coming on I can feel it like a chemical,” he says.

“I stop shaving and eating, and I withdraw from my friends. The most upsetting thing is taking the anger out on Louisa. I try to be a decent person. The last thing I want to do is upset someone I love.”

Louisa felt she couldn’t talk to her friends about Simon’s angry displays. “I knew they would tell me to leave Simon, as I would them. So I left for a two-month break in the countryside. I had to work out, alone, whether I could sign up to a life with Simon in the shadow of PTSD.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/…/Living-with-post-traumatic…

So the abusive and bullying needs get expressed via social media for some – as with Simon Buckden, some others take it out on their families and some attack others in public. But, it is still abuse, aggression, bullying and sociopathic behaviours and regardless of the cause of PTSD, I strongly stand by..

ABUSE IS NEVER JUSTIFIED BY HAVING PTSD.

These are some links on military based violence and domestic violence, due to combat PTSD;

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/09/25/ptsd-and-domestic-abuse-husbands-who-bring-the-war-home.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-van-dahlen-phd/post-traumatic-stress_b_2724982.html

http://womensenews.org/story/military/090413/veteran-domestic-violence-remains-camouflaged

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zachary-bell/military-ptsd-violence_b_5121221.html

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/01/17/us/veterans-violence/

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “Combat related PTSD too often turns into bullies, narcissists & domestic violence so common.

  1. A few years ago, a guy in my town who apparently had Combat PTSD, ended up raping his ex-girlfriend, shooting two policemen (one died), then shooting himself. It sounds like he and his ex had an abusive relationship, going both ways–then she tried to break up with him, and he went ballistic. Terrible situation. His family says he was this wonderful guy and shouldn’t be judged for this, even tries to blame the ex. But really it looks like someone who needed a lot of psychological help.

    • Oh that is so terrible!

      There are so many reports of ex military with combat PTSD being violent and even the military have said it is all too common, as it states in the links I provided.

      And you are right, they do need help, and it is wrong they don’t get enough help – but that is still never an excuse for violence, murder, domestic violence, bullying, harassment etc.

      They should also own their behaviour, but often don’t, projecting blame.

      So terrible that people get abused and hurt and killed by people using PTSD as an excuse. They should remove themselves from family if they can’t control their behaviour, as should anyone who has anger and violence issues.

  2. I wish I had your courage and strength! I really look up to you! God is with you in all you do and will stand in front of you in any conflict! Love ya sister!