A post to my page for my Birthday, I want to blog, to keep as a record.

“Happy birthday early my dear Lilly!!!

I know it’s tomorrow but I wanted to leave you a message today too! Thank you for being the beautiful woman you are inside and out!!! For making a path for those of us who are sometimes very lost and trying to go on and find the light after child abuse and other types of ongoing abuse, narcissistic relationships, depression, anxiety, and PSTD/CPTSD just to name a few.

When I think about you the words: courageous, brave, loving, caring, sweet, wonderful, compassionate, inspiring, life-changing, motivational, empathetic, genuine, amazing, daring, strong, vulnerable in the best of ways because you show us it is a blessing, understanding, precious, unique and strong come to mind. I wish you the best of birthdays yet and may it be filled with love, beauty, peace, healing, happiness and all the wonderful things life has to offer!

May God bless you more every single day and may you continue helping others in all the ways you do and changing the word with your love and compassion towards people who are hurting, thanks for sharing with us and making me feel like I’m not alone and I am worthy and capable of making my life a better one! I love you today and always!!! xoxoxo ❤ ❤ ❤ "

Made me cry. And I know the beautiful girl who sent me this, is genuine and means what she has said.

As someone who has not had a lot of genuine positive things said to me in my life, I always find compliments very difficult to take. Even when my counsellors say nice things, I struggle not to assume they are just being nice to me, to build up my self esteem. I struggle to believe them, even though they have both encouraged me to be a counsellor in the future.

I get confused, when people say nice things. I struggle to not wonder why, I still struggle and assume they don’t mean it and there must be a reason they are saying nice things.

I guess hypervigilance and a lifetime of being treated so badly and having people grooming me, abusing me and using me, doesn’t get fixed overnight.

And I am also so aware of not becoming prideful and still having humility. I don’t want to consider myself as someone great, because I know I’m not. I’m a sinner like everyone else.

It’s my Birthday tomorrow.

It’s my Birthday tomorrow, and my boys are so excited!

Will be opening pressies with my boys in the morning, chill while they are in school/work, and then Birthday tea party late in the arvo, complete with balloons and cake.

I love my little family ❤

And I am really looking forward to getting my bike 🙂

Need to get myself a helmet, before I can go out for a spin on it. So as my boys will be in school and hubby is working 8am-4pm, I will have time during the day, to take it easy, go out treat myself to a magazine and a coffee and buy a helmet.

It will be a good day 🙂

Trauma & sexuality

Something many abuse survivors struggle with. Very courageous to be facing with this ❤

It angers me greatly, how Tony Abbott, is hurting lower income people.

I am aware many ‘middle class’ and ‘upper class’ people have this belief that lower income, ‘lower class’ (as they like to label) people don’t deserve the financial support, Centrelink payments and free access to health, education etc that we receive.

It really pisses me off that so many of these – choose to send their children to state schools, when they could afford private schooling. But, they don’t think about that – and that free education should be for those who can’t afford private schooling.

Maybe the government should put a stop to that. If you earn over a certain amount – no access to free education? Stop spending all your higher income on such expensive houses and fancy holidays, expensive cars etc – and send your children to a private school. Get the priorities right.

Higher income earners, can also afford private health and pay to access health services, but still feel entitled to gain free services.

They are so quick to talk about the dole bludgers etc – yet so many of them are bludging themselves.

Hypocrites.

I am dreading Tony Abbott’s new announcements for the budget.

All it will be – is making the poor – poorer and the rich – richer.

No empathy, no compassion, no decent morals. Just entitlement and wanting class divides to widen.

Makes me sick.

Especially as he claims to be a Christian. Anyone who believes he is a Christian, is very deluded.