Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Do abusers know what they are doing is wrong?


Do abusers know what they are doing is wrong?

Most abusers, do know right from wrong.

Most abusers, do hide what they do.

Most abusers, do lie about it.

Most abusers, will not own up to it.

There are few mental health issues that render someone incapable of making a choice to abuse, or not to abuse, psychosis can be one, schizophrenia can be another.

But, Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, Paedophiles etc…

All KNOW what they are doing is wrong – they just don’t care – due to lack of empathy, lack of remorse, although they can pretend to have them.

All my abusers, absolutely knew what they were doing was wrong, because they hid it, lied about it, denied it, minimized it.

I can and I do have compassion for anyone with any mental health issues –

BUT this is ‘never’ to be used to justify/enable/minimize the ‘choices’ they made to abuse and the damage and harm they caused.

It was a CHOICE they made.

This was a very painful realisation to get my head around, as some of my abusers were family.

But I needed to understand this.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “Do abusers know what they are doing is wrong?

  1. Sorry to hear you were being dissed by your own support group. Some people lack empathy for others and will swear on a stack of Bibles they have done nothing to you. I have experienced just that, but what makes the bitterness subside, I do not know

  2. When their ‘Choice’ to do the unthinkable, creates within you PTSD or that which ought not be that will remain with you the rest of your life, you may consider asking for the help of a Professional who works to advise others in that area. A good cry with a total stranger can help a lot.

  3. I read all the time on message boards people comforting others and offering advice on how to work things out, telling others, it is not their fault, you cannot blame them because they don’t know better, they don’t get it and cannot get it. They get it. They condition you that NOTHING is their fault and in my experience they know what they are doing and the choose to hurt others for a variety of reasons. It is one of the most painful and bizarre things that I had to process as well, but it helps you move forward and not choose to be with people who choose to abuse you.