Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I will not be brainwashed, by foolish church people.


I stand by my understanding, that Church people can be the most foolish and unwise people I have known.

They confuse their assumed role of having to be compassionate, never angry, never judging etc – in a very unwise way.

They allow and enable abusive people to continue what they do. They apply cheap grace, often not even understanding what cheap grace is. They do whatever they need to do for their ‘own needs’. Not for God’s.

The ones on the right, are often abusive, legalistic, rules led, church rules dominated, lack of empathy, lack of wisdom, church goers.

The ones on the left, just think anything goes and there needs to be nothing that God requires of us.

Both equally wrong, equally nothing like Jesus, equally lacking in any spiritual wisdom.

Many church people are no different to the rest of society, egocentric, selfish, lacking in empathy, compassion, altruism.

Why don’t I go to church?

Because I don’t have it in me at the moment, to deal with all their issues that I see so deeply and so clearly.

I have enough on my plate to deal with. And I am too honest and too real for most people to handle. And that is ‘their’ issue, not mine.

As the saying goes…

“It is disappointing how many people are shocked by honesty, and how few by deceit.”

People can assume all they like, that my view is somehow twisted by my life, but will they ever stop to think that maybe I just see it to a deeper level than most?

No, they won’t – because that doesn’t suit their own needs, their own ego’s.

An example of this, has just occurred, I tested someone’s ego, and they did not like it. That person finds it very hard to assume, anyone may have more insight, more wisdom, than he does. Which is about insecurity and unhealthy ego and lack of self esteem.

Shame. But, I’d rather know now.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

8 thoughts on “I will not be brainwashed, by foolish church people.

  1. I really liked this posting and your honesty. None of us are above the need to self-reflect and be aware of our motives and desires- that applies even to “church people”.

    • Yes, everyone needs to self reflect, problem is, many don’t have the willingness, or capacity to do this.
      And that’s where the issues lie.

      Just something at the moment, I cannot deal with, as I need to prioritise my own needs and healing.

      I am better off away from churches atm, because as a converted Christian myself – the issues I see, bother me most when they are within churches.

  2. We are all human- we always have reason to put on the armor, whether going to work, school, shopping, or even church! My abuser passes communion in his church. He told our 8 year old he was going to teach Sunday school. God knows…
    Satan was once an angel, and churches look like flocks of prey to many. Always be vigilant. I have experienced few churches that I have picked up positive energy in…and I have been in everything from Pentacostal to Metaphysical…and that’s a wide spread! The thing is our personal relationship with God-not a church or “church people”. I like your reflective posts…they put into words that which many hold inside…💜

  3. Truth truth truth!!!
    These church goers were the first ones to turn a blind eye to the abuse that kept happening when I was a child. And they are the first ones to tell me I should forgive my abuser now.
    I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that!!!