Healing complex trauma for me, is not about becoming an average person.

May 26, 2014 by Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 6 Comments

I think too many people believe healing is about being morphed into your average non severe trauma person.

I don’t want to be an average person, I have seen far too many average people messing up this world, lacking self insight, lacking deep self honesty, lacking empathy, lacking wisdom, with far too much selfishness and ego.

I accept we are all different, but no, I do not aspire to be any of that.

I definitely do not aspire to be your average church person, who have all these issues too, but often a sense of false superiority over others they in no way should feel entitled to have. 

I am no better than anyone, but I am not average. I haven’t had an average life compared to most of society around me either. 

I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, I know when I sin, I can be bluntly honest about myself.

I am never going to be average, thank goodness.

Mental health professionals often want to turn people into someone average, you know ‘normal’. For some complex trauma survivors, who have greater life wisdom, and have gifts due to their life, that is asking the person to go backwards, not heal.

I need to learn how to deal with society’s mental health issues they mostly have no insight into, in a way that does not affect my wisdom and integrity, without enabling bad/unwise/abusive behaviour and without becoming apathetic.

Currently, I need to focus on me and my healing and I share my journey, so others don’t feel alone and because my empathy, compassion and heart for others suffering, continues to grow. It’s why I am protective of my community members not getting harmed by others, because I care.

I have never been average, as many have pointed out throughout my life, and I never will be.

Don’t allow anyone to try and make you their idea of who you should be. Grow, heal through it, accept your gifts, be very honest with yourself – good and bad, listen only to wise advice and don’t accept toxic in your life.

Have compassion and empathy, but don’t allow that to be greater than wisdom.

Question what everyone says, question your own thoughts, motivation as well. This is maturity.

Have boundaries, which may need to be different, at different times in your life.

Don’t follow the crowd, they are often going the wrong way.

Above all, don’t be average, if you know you are not.