Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Healing complex trauma for me, is not about becoming an average person.


I think too many people believe healing is about being morphed into your average non severe trauma person.

I don’t want to be an average person, I have seen far too many average people messing up this world, lacking self insight, lacking deep self honesty, lacking empathy, lacking wisdom, with far too much selfishness and ego.

I accept we are all different, but no, I do not aspire to be any of that.

I definitely do not aspire to be your average church person, who have all these issues too, but often a sense of false superiority over others they in no way should feel entitled to have. 

I am no better than anyone, but I am not average. I haven’t had an average life compared to most of society around me either. 

I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, I know when I sin, I can be bluntly honest about myself.

I am never going to be average, thank goodness.

Mental health professionals often want to turn people into someone average, you know ‘normal’. For some complex trauma survivors, who have greater life wisdom, and have gifts due to their life, that is asking the person to go backwards, not heal.

I need to learn how to deal with society’s mental health issues they mostly have no insight into, in a way that does not affect my wisdom and integrity, without enabling bad/unwise/abusive behaviour and without becoming apathetic.

Currently, I need to focus on me and my healing and I share my journey, so others don’t feel alone and because my empathy, compassion and heart for others suffering, continues to grow. It’s why I am protective of my community members not getting harmed by others, because I care.

I have never been average, as many have pointed out throughout my life, and I never will be.

Don’t allow anyone to try and make you their idea of who you should be. Grow, heal through it, accept your gifts, be very honest with yourself – good and bad, listen only to wise advice and don’t accept toxic in your life.

Have compassion and empathy, but don’t allow that to be greater than wisdom.

Question what everyone says, question your own thoughts, motivation as well. This is maturity.

Have boundaries, which may need to be different, at different times in your life.

Don’t follow the crowd, they are often going the wrong way.

Above all, don’t be average, if you know you are not.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

6 thoughts on “Healing complex trauma for me, is not about becoming an average person.

  1. I would love to be (average/ordinary).
    But i’m not and never will be.
    All i can do is practice being ordinary (behaviour).
    Cheers, Gavin.

    • I wanted for along time to be average, tried hard.
      I never was and now I accept that and I am thankful for the gifts I have and accept the weaknesses I have.
      Non acceptance hurts me more.
      I’m glad I am not average and do not wish to behave like average people.
      It has been a journey to get to this though.
      But needed.

  2. I don’t think that after suffering complex trauma or PTSD anyone could ever be average. Seeing the world from this side of the table forever changes how we view every situation. Thank you for your wonderful advice once again. God bless you sister!

  3. Beautiful and inspiring post. You are absolutely right. I believe trauma can make us extraordinary people – we grow in wisdom, insight, and clarity. We can have tremendous personal growth which some people take a lifetime to achieve. Of course we are not average. And I really love that you are encouraging us to embrace that!! =) – (@selfcarehaven from Twitter)