Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I have to be okay, with no-one ‘getting me’. I really am, on my own.

by 11 Comments

It has become very clear to me lately, that my need for someone, anyone, to understand me, is great. I’ve been seeking that, my entire life.

But, no-one will.

My life has been too complex, for anyone to understand who I am. And I can’t expect anyone to, not my husband, not my doctor, not anyone.

They can’t. They haven’t lived my life. They haven’t endured all the pain. Their understanding is limited by their own lives, their own personal life experiences, which are different to mine. No-one understands what they haven’t personally endured.

It is unfair of me, to expect anyone, to understand me, except Jesus.

But, everyone needs a person, someone to talk to, who verbally speaks backs understanding.

I will never have that, in my earthly lifetime.

It really fucking hurts, more than I can express. But, the stuff that always hurts me the most, is the stuff I need to accept and deal with, the most. No matter how painful.

It makes me feel more lonely and isolated and withdrawn and hopeless, then ever.

A lifetime of validation seeking – and I will never have it, from anyone human.

Wow. Deeply painful. More than I can express.

Numbing out happening now.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

11 thoughts on “I have to be okay, with no-one ‘getting me’. I really am, on my own.”

Leave a comment

  1. jaklumen
    May 27, 2014 at 12:52 am

    You’ve summed up so well much of how I feel.

  2. paininhidingabuse
    May 27, 2014 at 1:44 am

    Its true what u saying i think u say it well but also remember there are lots of us out here who are with u daily …holding u tightly , walking along side u listening ..sending lots of love lisa

  3. sedge808
    May 27, 2014 at 7:07 am

    I so relate to this one.

  4. thewondermya
    May 27, 2014 at 9:13 am

    I have felt that all my life so far and it looks it never ends…

  5. armyofangels2013
    May 27, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Validation from other humans….rare.

    • Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD
      May 28, 2014 at 3:44 am

      Yes, it is rare. Which is why I try so hard to validate people on my community page.

      I haven’t had the worst trauma in life, by far, but I have suffered deeply, so I try and validate the pain of this for others.

      Lack of validation, and particularly invalidation, is painful.

      ❤