Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

No, I won’t be ‘nice’ to people who hurt me, or hurt others anymore.


My whole life I have been nice to people, even when they have hurt me, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

I’m still being told that’s what I should do, by Christians, who think this is wisdom.

It isn’t wisdom, it is apathy, choosing an easy life, not wanting to rock the boat.

Did Jesus act ‘nicely’ to everyone? No He didn’t. So, no I won’t listen to other ‘Christians’ who fail to see what Jesus modelled.

I’m not here to be like other Christians, I am here to be more like Jesus.

Jesus chucked people out of temples, when dealing with the adulterous woman being treated badly – He stated the truth and the temple emptied, He got angry many times, He said ‘get behind me Satan’ when people made a choice to do wrong/sin/evil. When doing this, He was dealing with reality, dealing with it appropriately. He wasn’t apathetic.

I’m not Jesus, for from, never will be perfect Jesus, but I see how He modelled for us to live our life.

I get told in counselling, I have to treat people who have hurt me, harmed me, let me down, betrayed me, abused me – as though they are human beings and be nice to them. Apparently, that is meant to be compassion and love.

Well, you know what that does? Enables them. Tells them their behaviour is okay. That is choosing evil. That is not doing anything to try any reduce abuse and sin. So, it is not spiritual wisdom.

This is not compassion, love or spiritual integrity to the truth, this is apathy and giving yourself a comfortable life, this is cheap grace. It is sin.

And how in the hell, is that helping to reduce harm in this world? It isn’t. It’s enabling.

I am not choosing sin deliberately, I am a ‘real’ Christian who wants to never sin and wants to continually sin less.

Society and ‘Christianity’ are failing miserably due to these sinful views and actions.

If someone hurts me, I will tell them.

If someone tries to lie, deceive – even themselves – hurting me or others in the process – I will tell them. This doesn’t mean I hate them, or want anything bad to happen to them, but it isn’t love to just enable them. But if someone chooses harmful actions, they need to be told. Or they will never change, and hurt more people.

I wasn’t given deep insight into the behaviours of others, to see harm occurring and just ignore it.

As a Christian, I am meant to be bothered by sin, my own and of others. And I am.

I am meant to be bothered by evil when I see it occurring, not ignore it.

I am not out looking for it – I try to stay away from people – but if they find me, hurt me, or I see others being hurt, I will speak up.

Takes spiritual integrity and courage to do this. I get not many have this.

So, if anyone disagrees, okay, that’s your opinion, but no I won’t ‘agree to disagree’, because I firmly believe you are wrong and perpetuating harmful actions and attitudes in this world.

I will never be a ‘Christian apath minion’, who serves Satan.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “No, I won’t be ‘nice’ to people who hurt me, or hurt others anymore.

  1. You are certainly right! God says to turn the other cheek not to be an idiot or glutton for punishment. “I will never be a ‘Christian apath minion’, who serves Satan.” Amen to that sister!!

  2. I so love your post ! It puts in words what I had been thinking and feeling that being nice and shutting up is just as bad as what the abuser is doing. I am reflagging this ! Thank you !

  3. Reblogged this on No diet forever lifestyle.